Is this cognitive distortion or reality?!

I am madly in love with a gem of a person...i am considered the perfect girl friend by my man...but a voice inside me tells me that im not that perfect naturally i changed myself to be perfect only to attract his love which in turn makes me a selfish person..when i was in 7th grade there was a guy who used to like me whom i led on just for the sake of attention then after a while i got bored of him...the memory of this makes me feel im the kind of person who cares only about attention from my boyfriend so i dont love him as much as i think i do...it convinces me i dont love my man...that unconciously im pretending to care for him and worry for him, pray for him and care for his family only so that he thinks im this perfect woman....and such thoughts make me so hurt and disappointed with myself and charges me with this unbearable feeling of guilt...is this really a disorder of some sort or is it really true that im a horrible dangerous wolf clad in sheepskin?