why must i always lead conversations?!

My same situation exactly! I always feel like I'm carrying the conversation load. I think its just a personality issue. You are probably naturally the outgoing one, so you attract people who are more quiet because they naturally like and are fascinated by hearing someone who is confident enough to do the talking. The other night I was having dinner with two friends and there was very little conversation. I wondered, "Aren't they uncomfortable with this silence? We are spending a lot of money on a meal just to eat in silence?" Then I realized that they ARE comfortable with it. They don't feel the pressure to start a conversation, but if one is started, they'll be interested and contribute. So, I just sat back and enjoyed my food, and took a little break from pressuring myself to think of something to talk about. Maybe you should give yourself a break from it also from time to time and just enjoy yourself.

I'm guessing you have an extremely extrovert personality, and I would try shutting myself away for a short amount of time to try to overcome the abslute need to be that way.

~M~