Question:
I am positive I have OCD?
Everyday of my life it feels like I am pushing a elephant up the stairs. I know that others may feel the same, but I feel that every little thing is another bastion to conquer. I am an extreme perfectionist. In some things I dont care about like i.e spelling but I'm very nerotic about many things for example: I cant write something without it being perfect (as in the way it looks, funny that spelling dosent bother me lol). I have killed trees many trees by throwing countless sheets of paper away. This really gets in the way of everything. I can't have normal relationships because I am always in fear of hurting someone. I constantly ask if someone is okay and I cant live life with quiteness. I can never have peace in my head or my life with myself. I always do everything just the same and I never complete anything if I find a slightist inperfection then I give up and quit. Working is hard because if i screw up once even if others think its minor or stupid I cant return I feel like I gone to far, it feels like the end of the world. I find myself being unexplanable to myself. Im 23 years old, I know what some are thinking oh your just young... let me tell you NO ONE I KNOW KNOWS MY PAIN. Everything that a normal person goes through is tough I dont argue that, but imagen doing all that with 1k lbs on your back. I cant speak without processing obsesing over every word. I read into things obsessively and I cant stop. This has been going on for years. This is the first time I have ever externalize this issue with me. My father says its bull, but he dosent know what its like being me. im very embaressed I know alot of people think its bull too. But in truth I dont wanna live, I came up with the idea that I am okay if I died because nothing matters but others in my life. I dont give to sheets about myself. I am by no means suicidal but I wish sometimes that I was aborted. I dont see others toil like i do. Is there any help groups that I can attend. Im poor to be honest and I dont have alot of money and I dont make much. If you cant help me its okay i just wanted to get that out
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Well what you describe is related to OCD, but a psychiatrist would probably not diagnose you with OCD without specific compulsions or rituals. Sometimes it can be hardest living between two states: not normal but not quite OCD. You have nothing to fall back on, no explanation for your problems, and nothing to help focus your stress because it's just at the tipping point. I don't know where you could find a support group, but you should try looking online. A local community center, library, or place of worship may be able to direct you to a support group near you.
you definitely need to go see a psychiatrist ASAP