What do you think about self harm?!
Question: What do you think about self harm?
It's self awareness week at our school, and I've been thinking a lot about it actually. I don't self harm, but my best friend has been doing it for a very long time now.
She's extremely sensitive, and makes kind of a big deal out of the smallest things. I was her best friend ever since she started, but I didn't know what to say to her when I found out. Only that i'll always be there for her and love her. She still does it to this day, but sometimes I think that she still doesn't think that i'm there for her. For example, If I told her I couldn't hang out with her when she asks me, she gets extremely sad and talks to her other friends... but I always find out after wards.
She likes to keep things from me, and only talk to me about it when I ask her. Like I think 7 days ago, on Valentines day, I believe she tried to commit suicide. I believe this because she has attempted it before with pills, a year ago, and she posted a text on her blog saying something about pills... the next day she didn't come to school because she was throwing up. Shes very cliche, and she would do it on Valentines day, as she tried to do it on her birthday last year.
She believe she has family problems, because her family ignores her or something like that. Her mom is very scary and cold hearted, and her being sensitive, doesn't make things better. Her parents are divorced, and I think that's what triggered the whole thing. She thinks shes an outcast and things would be better without her.
I'm only young and I think I could only give her all the love she deserves. I wish I could do something better to make things change, but i'm not sure what to do. I think that if she really want to change her lifestyle to make things better, she would actually try and do something about it. It's her life. I don't think she really knows about the precious things she has in life, and really needs more in life.
I don't know what so say about self harm... But i'd like to know your opinion on people who do it.
and maybe advice about my situation and how should I deal with it.
Thanks alot.. I know this is a lot i'm sorry.
Answers:
Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but I am happy to hear that she has such a strong, supportive, loving person behind her. It sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing right now, just continue to let her know that you're there for her and you support her.
The thing you need to remember however, is that just because you love your friend does not mean that she has a responsibility to tell you everything and anything you want to hear. Self harm and suicide are both deeply personal issues Always, regardless of whether or not the injury is severe. It may take her a long time to open up and be able to come to you freely with her problems or urges. For many people their own self harm is a deeply mysterious thing, it's possible that even she doesn't know the real roots of her problem.
While I think the person above me is an insensitive, uneducated, idiot, I do agree with part of what they said.You should encourage your friend to enter therapy. Overcoming self harm is very, very difficult, and only gets harder over time. Injuries often also get worse over the years, many people say they become desensitized to the effects of their injuries, and need to up the ante so to speak for the same effect. There is nothing wrong, or shameful about seeking the help of a therapist, and I am sure she deserves better than the way she treats herself.
This is going to sound a little callous, but have you seen her injuries? It's very important that she takes good care of them to prevent any type of infection. It's also important she gets anything that needs to be stitched up or put in a cast taken care of in a hospital. A lot of people don't get the treatment for the injuries they have because they're too afraid to go into the hospital because they'll likely have to reveal the source of the injury.
In my sources I'm going to list a couple of websites with good information, there are loads of excellent books out there too, although sometimes they can be tricky to find.
www.palace.net/~llama/selfinjury
http://gabrielle.self-injury.net/
I don't realy think they are crazy or anything because I do it but. Some people think they are attention seeking and idk why because if they try to hide it from people they are not
Me
I think its sad and pathetic,they should get help immediately.
There is no sense in cutting up your own body because of other people.
get help and see why your self esteem is so low,when the cutting does not satisfy you,
Then what is the next step?Deal with it by recommending they see a professional.
Maybe medication can help.