Why do I feel so conflicted all the time? Sometimes I feel like I might go insan!

Gosh, every single thing you pointed out was exactly how I used to feel when I was in school. I was very shy, introverted and didn't have a boyfriend until I was 20 years old in college. I felt so defeated and I thought it would never end. The thing that got me through this overwhelming anxiety was to make small goals for myself to overcome my shyness one day at a time and build up confidence and trust in others. I wanted to be more positive about life and "be the change I wanted to see in the world." I thought to myself if I could do one thing good today with what I have been given, what could I do?
For example, I had trouble talking to other kids and felt lonely. Instead of dwelling on this I chose to turn this into something good. I got the guts up to reach out to other kids that looked like they could use a friend, or just someone to talk to. I was a kid, I didnt need any money or a car or anything to just give someone my time. And if it didnt work out the way I hoped than I know I can still feel good about myself because I chose to leave all my worries behind and make a difference. I had good intentions and wholeheartedly tried my best to show someone that I cared. Another thing that I was gifted with was smarts, I used it for good and would help tutor other kids, my family, neighbors, whoever came to me for help with school. We lived in a very underprivileged neighborhood so I made myself available to any kid who wanted to do good in school. Through that they could one day make a better life for themselves. There were so many little things that made a big difference in my life and others. My faith also played a big part in overcoming my anxieties. I had a lot of hope. After a while I started feeling less like a victim and more like a conqueror. I felt like I was useable and not a failure after all.

You definitely do not seem like a bad person from what you just wrote. If you have the conviction in your heart to do something to help the underpriviliged, remember, you have more than what you need to do this. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. You are not alone either, many other kids your age are feeling the same way. By trying to overcome any worries or anxieties you could possibly be making a big impact in someone else's life. I hope this helps.

No one can ever go insane by living in reality.Its the people who deny reality that have issues.
The world is mostly horrible and uncaring.It seems to be everyone only cares about themselves.
You do the same,worry about yourself for now.even write letters to the editor and say what's wrong with society.Many others feel just like you.You are shy,but will most likely outgrow that.
Not many people you will meet will be real friends,so choose them carefully.
If this really bothers you,get help.
bye

You must start to write down these thoughts and speak to a therapist. Therapy has helped with with years of overanalyzing. In therapy, you'll be able to address items that seem to be important to you, how you view yourself, the world, what you want out of life. It doesn't matter how wonderful your life is, how you feel is how you'll view everything. I have a very good life too but suffered with years of depression and anxiety. The best release in the world is to speak with a therapist. Someone to confide in. No one should suffer mentally with repetitive thoughts.

Wishing you the best of luck. You'll really feel better getting some of this off of your chest.

Years of therapy.