how can i get out of my current state of despair?!

A lot of qualified psychiatrists will be reading this on yahoo answers, care, and be eager to help. Additionally, you may get some supportive answers from people who are sympathetic. You won't from me, I think life's a gift. You could distract yourself with something progressive other than moaning online.

You're severely depressed. I'm scared for you. You need the help of a therapist to get you through this. Google search a local one you can see. This really isn't good. Please no more self harm, you know you're worth more than that. You don't want to end up like the boy with the scarf.
Life is a miracle, you won't find it anywhere else in such a vast universe except for our tiny little dot of a planet. Treasure what you've got. Don't give it up!!!

you should go to doctor.

MA. fluffs feels sad about the above. ;( x

SOMEHOW GET THESE THERAPIES IN YOUR LIFE
what is vitally important is to choose your healing route- for this problem ----- carefully from good information—that means knowing druggs/meds treatment for this can/will be damaging to your mind and body .drugs only mask the symptoms they do not cure.

This info well –it will save ---years of suffering = if you apply it ..

All treatment recommended by the doctors should be tested and approved and quite rightly so.
That makes sense
It costs millions of pounds to test and approve just one treatment.

Drug companies pay for most testing and will only and I mean only look at treatments, which show the promise of good deal of a profit, --they will actively dismiss any therapy which does not have profit potential— thus your doctor will only recommend therapies that have been tested with profit potential in them.

Despite The fact that some of these other therapies mentioned below do have overwhelming benefits some, which have saved massive amounts of suffering

Drugs are not the answer for any mental illness-- at best they mask symptoms

This is a fundamental principle grasp this fully –

Have you heard your local doctor recommend, Massage Spiritual healing, reiki Light therapy, Colour therapy, the violet ray therapy, Osteopathy, Electrical Frequency devices. Karma therapy and u wont because no one can put a patent on these powerful therapies .

For much more info/ detail and research behind this protocol
Go here http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/theholi…
Upon joining this group you will be sent a file giving the info –or go to the files section within the group and u will see it there

Print this all off save it and enact it and share it --- of course someone to help you get these therapies in your life is invaluable but do not be swayed by anyone trying for short cuts …
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1,get someone to massage your back and legs at least 3 times a week use peanut oil or a mix of 50-50 olive and peanut oil.

2 use the violet ray machine an Edgar Cayce device google search this --- 3 times a week on the other days especially on the spine….we use it every day with very positive results

3.get a tent sleep out side 3times a week utilising earth energy - nature can help big time especially with how you feel how much energy you have

4 study and apply good nutrition— adele davis books =protein minerals =iron essential fatty acids omega 3 6 9 protein etc

5 ensure your thyroid is working well get it checked

6 ensure you do at least I hr per day some kind of voluntary work when you are able..the reasons you are ill , or poor or have allsorts of bad things happen to you is because of karma -----usually from past lives but some from this one –voluntary work will offset your mistakes--- how much it offsets well that is down to god and how much you do. Healing us is in direct proportion to the help we give others ie your healing comes with helping others achieve theirs so if people are doing very little in helping others ---they suffer more and longer...and if they are doing a lot they get well faster....so now you know what to do ,,and like a lot of us are already doing being of service.

7 be amongst people who are giving, friendly who have time for you who love you , choose your friends well . choose your company well.

8 get to a place which personally love or like

9 do some work which you like or love

10 ensure you do no acts which hurt or inflict on anyone –don’t want to add to your karma do we !!!

11 spiritual healing and reiki find good therapists who offer this service in your area many spiritualist churches which are all around offer this for free as part of their vocational offerings to the divine.

12 focus your mind - think good positive thoughts, laughter, look at comedy, play good uplifting music,

13 avoid at all costs exposure to violence, murders, suffering ,death ,tragedies, -feed upon good things uplifting things, things that feel like a breath of fresh air..

14 Positive affirmation- t programme your self in the mirror , thoughts are things words are things actions are things , all have influence, few people realise these things can have an effect on themselves .

15 get a detox ------ toxins can influence how you feel big time

16 hugs get plenty of them in your daily life you would be amazed at how people feel after a few decent hugs.== find a big tree and hug that.
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17 loads of exercise running walking climbing but something which you enjoy

18 light therapy sunshine /light box and vitamin d and ensure water intake 2 litres a day

A total cure however is tied up with karma so you can imagine just how important is the voluntary work. The more u do the better u will feel .

Get the spiritual healing /reiki in place asap

And remember this

Voluntary work for you is a very good idea especially when u consider this principle

,.all our healing and happiness - yours and mine is linked right alongside our efforts and contribution to others.in direct proportion to the help we give others

ie your healing comes with helping others =so if people are doing very little in helping others ---they suffer more and longer...and if they are doing a lot they get well faster...

.so now you know what to do ,,and like a lot of us are already doing being of service.

Do not even dream of healing to come to you if you are doing wrongful acts , wrongful words , wrongful thoughts. All you are doing is making more of a burden for yourself

1 hour a day will make a difference to you and to others

Sounds like you are in a morbid place but it need not consume you. For now the best thing you can hope for is to have a regular hot bath and feel your body healing. Go shopping and get some healthy fruit juices and food to keep going. Don't watch tv (it depresses you and takes the energy out of your body) listen to music, radio plays, read, meditate and cook - feed the body that heals from the inside out.

Surrender to any pain you feel and let it simply pass through you. You only die once - there's really no hurry.