Is he depressed? How can I help?!


Question: Is he depressed? How can I help?
I think my boyfriend is depressed. I'm not 100% sure, but when I met him, he was a pretty happy person. His mother passed away on April last year, and since then, he stopped to enjoy so many things. He says, music makes him depressed, television makes him depressed... He was extremely close to his mother and he told me so many times, he used to watch tv with his mother!

He just works, now. He says he works to not get himself into psychologist and medications. Imagine that today he started work at 4am and finished at 11pm! He works everyday, without off, from 3am to 5pm. He is a taxi driver.

The reason I'm not sure is because at the same time, he doesn't show that much that he is depressed. He does joke a lot with me tho. And he's not isolating himself. Altho he doesn't like to go home, and rarely spends time with his friends.

In fact we're not a couple anymore. He broke up with me one week ago, and said "there's something pinching my heart and I don't know what is it". :( he also said: "It's not you, it's me. i don't want to be in relationships with any other girls either. Even with that, I'm done." He told me he does not feel he is good enough to me. He said to me, I deserve better! :( And he told me: "I'm a f***ed up guy nowadays".

We are still the same tho. We talk to each other everyday, more than 4 times... Like today we spoke in the phone like 4 hours.

He gets really mad with me out of nothing sometimes. Just because I ask him something... he just shoutes on me. I always had the care to not yell at him back. I never did. He's been like this since his mom passed away...

Well, do you think he is suffering depression because of his mom? Or could it be something else?

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And HOW CAN I HELP HIM OUT to get better?

Note: I do not want medication help, neither he does. I just want some good advices to help him to get through his loose. His mother was his number one, in his whole life!

Answers:

You can try to taking him out for a journey ,Let him have a good relax,I think it will be OK



If he is troubled , he should see a psychiatrist.



There are supplements that are known to be mood lifters like St. John's Wort.

I agree. Counseling is needed. It's not all that bad, really. He just needs to get his view on life straight... what he wants, etc. In my case, when that occurs, I need time alone. I need to think, meditate, reflect and it makes me a LOT happier and more content with life.

Everyone has their own coping mechanisms and such.... a psychiatrist or someone familiar would this would be able to help more than yahoo answers. I doubt a psychiatrist would be hanging out here for fun... :(



There are two types of depression (actually there are heaps, but there are two general ones): Depression and Clinical Depression.

'Depression' is when you feel sad due to things that happen, and your experiences etc.

'Clinical Depression' is when a chemical imbalance in your brain causes your mood and feeling to go haywire.

It is perfectly possible he's suffering depression. It's hard to classify the line between sadness/grief and depression, so I really strongly suggest he sees a doctor. I know he doesn't want help, but if you're really worried you should talk to him about seeing someone. My best friend has depression, and the thing is, it doesn't just affect her. It affects everyone, all your friends, your family, your life. Letting it drag on and not get help is the WORST thing you can do. Just your suspicion that he has depression is enough cause to see a doctor. Both me and my friend never expected/suspected it was depression.

Also, a doctor/psychiatrist can not force you onto meds. Unless it's really evidently awful they actually can't put you on them until you've seen a psychologist and talked about things and it hasn't gotten better.

As to what you can do, just be there. Don't be pushy, just suggest things. Tell him you're there if he wants to talk. Try to make him laugh, and grasp every single opportunity to do something with him he wants to do.

But if it is depression, it's not just going to 'go away'. Psychologists aren't creeps, they aren't scary, they don't pretend to care. It's their job, they want to help people. They don't put you on meds, they talk to you about how you feel and try to work out exactly what is making you feel that way and work on ways to work through it and cope with it.

Hope this helps.




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