My 0bsession about pills and suicide is taking over my life.. How to talk to my !
Question: My 0bsession about pills and suicide is taking over my life.. How to talk to my psychiatrist?
I have been banned from the pharmacy due to too many suicide attempts since last April.. And I crave the meds, I obsess about them, I want them so badly. I've lied to get prescriptions but no pharmacy will fill them. Nothing. I need her to remove my ban and prescribe me meds. I need them. I see a counselor who wants to come with me to make sure I don't lie and get the meds...But I tried telling my counselor not to come, and she's not buying it.. I just need to feel numb again.
And I think about death all the time, overdosing, car accident, shooting, hanging, everything... Mostly about overdosing.. I've thought about getting a gun, and looked into where I can buy one but I would get turned down because of my mental health history, but I think about death so much..
I look fine on the outside, and I don't know how to tell her or what she would do.. Last time she wouldn't give me meds due to my numerous suicide attempts.. but I need them.
What should I do.. and I don't want to go back to the hospital..
I don't want to go see her Thursday and than have her send me to the hospital. I hate hospitals and would lie myself right out of there
I want the meds to overdose and die. It's that simple
How do I even talk to this with my psychiatrist ?
Answers:
When you are dead, you're dead. That's it.
So don't end your life at any cost. May be depression and loneliness are the only problems you are facing. You can do this thing. It will help.
Just go to the internet and search for depression and loneliness on wikipedia and google. Search for it's causes and then do a research for your cause of attempting suicide and all that you feel. Just note down remedies and talk to your doctor about the feelings and thoughts you get. Just a feeling that you are getting cured makes all the difference. But please do not attempt any thing like suicide. Please. May be you hate your life but this is only due to this damn thing called as stress or depression. So just be cool and spend more time on internet researching on your problem and discuss all that info with your doctor.
Myself being in the same condition..:( But not now.. Now it's better.
You must tell them how you feel and as much as you hate hospitals, maybe it's the best place for you right now? Then they can keep an eye on your medication until they get it right and then it should help you with your thoughts of death.
I hope you get better soon x
Personal experience
u need to be open and honest and let them help u to overcome ur suicidal thoughts. xxx
You're a tough one, aren't you.
I want you to be honest with yourself abut what I am going to ask you. If you knew there was something you could do that would decrease the thoughts of suicide and the obsession with ways to kill yourself, and that they would continue to lessen as long as you stuck with your "program",and in the not too distant future you would be glad you didn't complete suicide, would you want to try it? Or has suicide become your goal...your reason for living, so to speak? .
Next question: when ws the last time you can remember going a whole week, or even a day, without planning it or thinking about it?
Are there people who love you? I can answer that for you...every person, no matter alone they believe themselves to be, has at least one other person on the earth who loves them...whether they know it or not. Do you tell yourself that those people who love you would be better off without you? Do not delude yourself. you will destroy the lives of every one of those people. They will never recover if you choose to kill yourself. This is not intended for guilt purposes, I am simply stating a fact that I have witnessed far too many times in my career.
Now, back to the first question I asked you. Would you want to try it and would you actually try it? A plan to feel a little better, and a little better and a little better...every day..until better gets good...
you would, then do it. Try these 3 things in conjunction with each other and if they do not require that you take meds and frankly, I think you should not be near them for a long time. 1. hypnotherapy with neuro-linguistic programming
2. EFT, aka emotional freedom technique
3 Brainwave entrainment
Numbers 1 and 2 should be with the same therapist, who is certified in all of them
Try...it might be a revelation for you.
Personal and professional experience, 27 years as RN with clinical specialty in Mental Health
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please know that these feelings will pass. Your life is so precious. God has put you here on earth for a reason (and it is not to be in pain and distress all the time). You can get through this and feel better. I know that you dont want to go to hospital but it sounds like the place that you really need to be. Can you really wait until Thursday to see someone. You could call an ambulance straight away if you need to. Tell them that you are scared that you are going to hurt yourself and having suicidal thoughts all the time. It sounds like you do need some meds to help you through at the moment but you need a psychiatrist to prescribe the right ones for you that will actually help and not just numb.
take care. please be safe- your life is worth living!
Hi, Firstly give yourself some major credit for sharing and seeking out info, support and feedback. That is a huge strength. You sounded very honest. That is a huge strength. I have worked with many people who have had or still have clinical depression or other mental health challenges. I myself am also currently being treated for anxiety and have been for yrs. I have my mental health challenges under control but the journey has taken a bit. You did not say exactly what type of meds you take and or abuse. I am assuming they are meds for your depression but often people take pain meds for mental health issues. I can tell you that for your safety a mental health professional has to take serious action if you are suicidal . It is a law. I can so understand your not wanting to go to the hospital. Hey I too am human and I did not like the one night I spent in a behavioral health unit. I think it is a good idea to have another person go with you to see your mental health professional. Do you possibly need a new treatment plan that might include different meds, holistic tools, talk therapy, exercise, diet etc... I only say this as I have had many, many clients who sadly had to try about 15 different mental health meds to finally get one that works. I also went through that and had many dark days. I knew I did not really want to die BUT I also knew I did not want to live like I was living as it just plain sucked. I now know that was because I was not on the right med. I will not sugar coat all this.Life is really a challenge at times. Depression can be very resistent at times but there is always hope with the right professionals and meds, treatment. I even tried accupuncture which helped a bit. I also so know what you mean when you say that you look fine on the outside. When I went in the hospital many people in my life were stunned. There are many, many great support systems on line if you do not want to meet with others in your area. Yes this is challenging to speak about with professionals as by law they need to protect you. Do you have a depression hot line in your area? Those trained people really help with making a safety plan while they listen and connect you with a mental health professional. Know you are not alone . There are so many people reading this who also have mental health challenges. We often need to be our own healers which means continuing to seek out others personally and professionally who can help.
Counselor, holistic trainer, mental health individual