I really need help. Am I doing the right thing?!
Question: I really need help. Am I doing the right thing?
I just found out that my grandfather will be having surgery within the next couple months, after which he'll be completely incapacitated for a while. He owns and operates a mechanic shop, which I've worked at the past few summers, and occasionally during the school year, I help him when I can and he needs it. So, after his surgery, I have to step up and pretty much take over it for him, in a way. I'm obviously neither old enough nor do I have the right training to actually run the shop, but I have to do what I can, including going to live with him because he lives a couple hours away. My time will be entirely occupied.
It's such awful timing. My girlfriend found out her dad has colon cancer and will be having surgery in four weeks. She really needs somebody to be there for her, but in a little while, I won't be able to be anymore. I love her, like you wouldn't believe, but I'm thinking the best move I can make is to break it off with her so she can find someone who can actually be there for her, like she needs. We've been together for almost a year and a half, and I feel so bad. I love this girl so much, and I just want her to be happy, but I won't have time to be a good boyfriend after my grandfather has surgery, and maybe it would be best if she could find someone who could, or even just a friend would work because I can't handle the thought of another guy comforting her when I can't. I'm such a wuss. I found out yesterday, and yes I did cry myself to sleep last night because I can't handle the thought of not being with her. In fact, I'm still crying, but that's besides the point. I just don't know if I'm making the right call. She needs someone and I can't be that someone, so do I let her go?
I've already decided that if I do decide to break up with her that I'm going to prolong it as long as I can because I can be there for her right now. I just can't always be there for her. And maybe that's not the right thing to do, but I have to because it's too hard and I can't handle it right now. I have to prepare myself for it because it's going to kill me. I can't bare the thought of hurting her and I know this is going to, but I know she needs someone who can be there for her. I honestly just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm not worried about me. I truly want whatever is best for her and I'm willing to do anything to make sure that's what happens.
Answers:
She'll be able to understand that your grandfather needs you. You don't have to break up with her, because it might just make her sad and she could overlook your good intentions. Let one of her other good friends stay by her side and be sure to keep in contact with her as much as possible to let her know you still care. ^_^
You're thinking that if you break up with her it will somehow spare her pain? If you two are very close, then breaking up with her would be the worst. Even if you can't be with her during her dad's surgery, she can at least call you and have someone who really cares about her to talk to. She surely has a close friend or relative who can be with her. You both have difficult things to deal with, and if you feel strongly about each other, you will find a way to support each other and help each other, even it's just talking on the phone. You need to talk to her about this. Don't make a decision on your own. This is the kind of thing that needs to be talked over between both partners. It would be a mistake to leave her out of it.
If you two love eachother then there is absolutely no reason why you can't make it work. The best thing for her is just to know that you support her and love her. Don't let her go.
ok, first of all yes you cant be at two places at once.As far as your situation i am sure there is other family for your grandfather then just you to help with the shop.And you shouldnt have to stress about it by yourself!!...And as far as your girlfriend be there as much as you CAN, and hopefully she will understand. And if she does then obviously dont let her go.And if she doesnt then maybe she is just to needy for right now.Then i suggest that maybe its time to take a BREAK for awhile. So both of you can get your situations handled!
experience