Are these behaviours of my parents normal? Someone tell me what is going on?!
Question: Are these behaviours of my parents normal? Someone tell me what is going on?
Ok. So I am in the kitchen and my Mom comes in and she is wearing a polo neck. I pause for a moment and observe and then I say ''Oh I like your top. Where did you get it?''. My Dad stares up from his newspaper and leers and ogles intently and intensely at my mother's breasts and I am sitting in the chair between them feeling v. uncomfortable and a bit disgusted to be honest to have been involved in their sex behaviours. It felt like some icky porno lesbian fantasy accept they forgot I am their daughter.
I dismissed that. I came out to the kitchen an hour later. My Dad was stroking my mother's arm with his thumb in suggestive manner and staring into my eyes whilst doing so. He has never done so before so it seemed a bit creepy.
K. Dismissed that too and thought I am a loopy girl. A couple of weeks later I am in the kitchen and my Dad is reading the newspaper. The radio and washing machine are on and he is on the other side of the kitchen. He says something. I do not hear him but I ask my mother ''what did he say?'' and she blurts out ''Kiss her'' and kind of laughs ''HAW HAW'' like she had said something ''bold'' and ''naughty''. I am being v. specific here about the exact manner of things. Again, really creeped out.
So, otherwise, I have been molested by a brother. And my Dad sometimes looks at like my boobs and bum in a way I have seen him look at my mothers. He has also made innuendos and that type of thing. I have another brother too with whom I went for a drink, and after a few, he ended up wide eyed, ogling my chest. I am modestly dressed girl.
So, with these events in mind..ought I avoid this family? For crossing innapropriate boundaries? I do not exaggerate nor add anything to above incidents. Some of it is subtle but still abusive I think. Any sensitive person have a sense of the situation
Answers:
Do I suggest you avoid your family? Certainly, because I suspect a long history of sexual abuse within the family and that isn't a healthy situation for you to be in. But cutting off all contact is not as easy as it sounds. Sick as they might be, these people are your family and have been present in your life for the duration.
Covert sexual abuse can be just as damaging as the physical abuse itself, so I would suggest speaking with a professional about what happend to you in the past and the things that are occuring now. That person can help you decipher which behaviors are okay and which are not as far as your family goes. And most importantly, they can help you summon the strength to break away from the abuse altogether.
Molested by my brother.