I don't want to feel super depress! Can you help me with this one simple qu!
Question: I don't want to feel super depress! Can you help me with this one simple question?
I don't have many friends, however, i do have many acquaintances. Well i'm turning 21 soon and i don't have any plans for my birthday since i'm a full time student and have no close friends. I am very close with my brother, cousins, and aunties -They all live super far-. I know they're going to be calling me about my birthday plans. I don't want to spend my birthday with my mom and dad because i don't want them to feel sad for me. I don't want them all to know that I'll be alone for my twenty first birthday. I really don't like it when people feel sad for me, because i like making people happy. Anways, i can't tell them that i'm going to Vegas because they will be asking for pictures. Ummm The point is, what made up birthday party can i tell them? I'm just gong to have an imaginary simple birthday party in my head. Can you think of any? i already have some in my mind, i just want more ideas from people. I'm not sure what to say when they call me and at the same time i don't want them to feel bad for me. I'd rather lie and pray than have people looking down on me.
(If your curious why i don't have many friends, here's a short summery.) (You don't hav to read this)
I wasn't really noticeable in high school. I'm not really a party person because i have strict parents. There was a lot of gangs in my school, so i always hanged out with the nerds. i always stayed quiet most of the time because I didn't have money to buy video games and share ideas. i did go to people's houses to play games but i always suck at them and they didn't really want to talk to me because i'm........boring. I don't really fit in with the guys either because they always talk about girls in a dirty way and i'm not that athletic. I'm not gay or anything, i just wished my parents enrolled me in a youth christian group years ago; in that way, i would of have friends now. I enjoy talking to elderly people in my hospital(i volunteer)because i usually have long conversation them lol Do i feel sad that i'm alone? sometimes. My dad is a negative person so i'm use to it. Right now, i'm just planning to join the military so i can get away from everything. I'm not afraid of death anyway.
Answers:
Don't be so critical of yourself!
Everyone has that moment in life where they're lonely, they fell homesick, or they feel unwanted... or something like that. I'm a student, too, so I can understand how you feel, even by some small percentage. I know that you might not want your family to worry about you, but sometimes it may be necessary to open up and tell them how you feel. Give them a call just because you feel like it! Send them a card! Do anything, just don't shy away from them. Your family will always be there for you. Remember, they care, so don't let their affection go to waste, ya?
About the problem with you feeling like you're boring... talk to people. Someone may seem distant or like they're really not interested in you, but you never know. It could be how they look(I know that I may seem wholly uninterested to many people), how they talk, anything. They could turn out to be an awesome person when it comes down to it. Don't be afraid to say what you are feeling. If someone doesn't like it then oh well, others may prefer being told the truth. You may feel unimportant, but you're not. There's something in almost everybody that's good enough to like. You can't make everyone happy.
It's good that you have respect for elder people and enjoy their company, because not many people do. You can learn a lot from the older generation. There's nothing wrong with enjoying being around them.
If you're going to join the military, make sure it's beacause you want to. Because using it as an escape is by no means a good idea. If anything, life in the military may be harder than your current life(Which, if you compare the two, you're living your life like it's platinum).
I hope my advice helped, and I hope you feel better about yourself! :)
None
I can relate, I have Aspergers and strong social anxiety, I was completely left out of the party scene in high school & college. I also went through that same time period without dating or having a girlfriend, it wasn't that I wasn't interested but I held terrible jobs, had a lack of money and didn't know how to approach women in a casual, flirtatious way. Some people don't get the significance of the party scene too btw, it's not all about booze and hooking up to score, the parties are social gathering to network, where friendships are made, those who are left out, are excluded from almost any clique on campus. You probably know how that feels.
Guys are also expected to do well in sports, no ifs, ands or buts. For someone having problems with coordination or athletic skill, this only added to my lack of friends or people wanting to include me into their groups.
My only difference from you, is that my father wasn't very social either, so he was quite sympathetic.
Anyways, I Hate people feeling sorry for me, it does nothing to lift me up and I find it annoying, especially since most people go about it in a patronizing and condescending way.
I too would want a cover story, so I don't receive pity or flak. Making up elaborate stories has been a challenge for me, so I might say something like a good acquaintance/friend and their friend were going to a birthday party that was close to your birthday, so you tagged along to celebrate your birthday with them as sort of a combo celebration.
If your a christian you shouldnt join the army, killing is a sin. Nomatter who tells you do commit it.
I can fill in, Im just like you, a lil older, but also not many like "REALLY" close friends.
I dont suggest lying, but I suggest handing the truth in a diffrent perspective.
Tell them your going to vegas to gamble, if they ask pictures, Take some :D
Say your going on this trip for the rush of an adventure.
And if so, bring a gun, only cash no credit, and a legitimation. That would be fun, see how you get back home if you loose everything :P
Seriously, I wana try that someday when I get older XD