What kind of depression do i have? (symptoms) and how does depression make you s!


Question: What kind of depression do i have? (symptoms) and how does depression make you see yourself?
I've been experiencing a lot of changes to myself for nearly 2 years, how i see others i book doctor appointments to get checked for depression/anxiety but when it comes to it i back out. i'm 17 now and it's getting really bad i start burning myself to feel pain to suffer. This isn't hormones something is seriously wrong with me but when i try to talk to my parents i choke up eventually i told my dad about the burns on my arms i was in tears trying to tell him this and he called me a drama queen.
Symptoms
Irritated/Lack of sleep during the night but i end up sleeping all day
Feeling, ugly, worthless, hopeless, giving up on life
Thought of suicide, planning my death in my head
Putting on a lot of weight without noticing
crying for sometimes no reason, i've become real sensitive in class if someone said horrible stuff to me i would ignore it at first but then all these emotions would just come to my head and it's like i can't stop and think before reacting.
i'd skip school because i was lonely, i was distancing myself from my friends they weren't real friends they used me for stuff
i can't carry out a conversation without getting irritated
i've only started hurting myself
i think about just ending this? Why should i live this misery when i could just give up.
i get paranoid going outside i look at pictures of myself and notice all these ugly things about my appearance i just want to hide under the duvet and never come out again.
i sit in my room on my own just to get away from the world
i'm at breaking point i want to book a doctors appointment but i'm scared i had a counselor in school but i couldn't talk to him i would just say "im fine" my guidance teacher made me go to counseling because she was concerned about my behaviour i couldn't focus or concentrate i was silent in class i had problems at home with the family which didn't help i went to him every wednesday at 12 o'clock it didn't help and my parents were informed by my guidance teacher that i had emotional problems and they were going to get me a counsellor they didn't take it seriously.

some days i can ignore it but others i feels like i don't know who i am anymore i feel emotional numb

Question to people who suffer depression how did change you? and how do you see yourself.

Answers:

You may be suffering by demonic tempation. Try to rely on God. Pray to God before you go to bed and always go to church. I have been studying exorcisms and demonic activity. It is difficult i know, but trust me, rely and trust God, ask him for help and courage. And i will pray for you.

The Rite, (book,)
The making of a modern exorcist



obviously u can't do this alone and if u wanted - really wanted to kill yourself u would have succeeded by now. so make a doctor appointment and keep it this time. stop wasting their time by making an appointment then not showing. t takes a counselor u click with to help u out of this. any old person to talk to that looks at his watch or out the window is not going to help. so make the first step and go see a doctor. u r 17 u r old enough to take charge of your life. go to a mental health clinic a the hospital and check yourself in. follow through with an appointment and get the help u need.



these are all signs of not being able to cope, you may feel you should be there instead of here or not at the level where you believe others are and your not, all the bad things you do to yourself is in response to not being able to get where you want to be, you need to take inventory of your problems then sit back and examine each one, get rid of the what ifs and could be's and concentrate on the most important, once you eliminate the negatives ones you then direct your focus on positive emotions, you need to learn the ropes when dealing with people, what and what not to do like exposing your feelings so others can use you, it takes time and practice but it can be done




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