When should I really start worrying about my life?!
Question: When should I really start worrying about my life?
I'm tired of being like this. I just want to enjoy my childhood, something I was reaped of when my mother died, but I've felt so much pressure from myself and sometimes from others around me to be more than that. I just don't know how much longer I can live like this. It feels like uselessness, helplessness, and just a loss of my overall sense of self and being. Do all teenagers go through this? What can I do? I'm just not sure any more.
Answers:
To begin with, these are normal feelings for any teenager, let alone one who has gone through the experiences you have had.
First off, I don't understand why you don't go to school? Many countries, when they receive foreign students who don't speak the language in use in the education system, have the students spend the year in language immersion classes before putting them into the regular classes (biology, etc.), others have it where the student does both at the same time (i.e., taking language classes as well as the regular classes). I don't know if this is the case in the country you live, however.
I applaud you for realizing that there's more to life, and that you have the ability to overcome all the hardships that you are enduring. My first recommendiation is to find some way of getting back into some sort of accredited education system, whether that be at a regular public school, something equivalent to a GED program, homeschooling (it is possible, though difficult at times, to homeschool yourself). I'd suggest going to the local high school or city hall to find out - although again, I don't know what country you are in and to what extent there may be a language barrier. If you are in Europe, you'll undoubtedly find somebody who will speak English well enough to assist you. If you are in central Africa, then it'll probably be more difficult.
Another suggestion is to start thinking about what sort of things interest you. Do you like art? Computer sciences? History? Whatever you have a strong interest in, start pursuing it at a deeper level. Read whatever materials you can get your hands on. Practice, practice, practice, if it's something like sports or art.
My sister went through something similar to you (spending four years of her life not doing much besides playing games on the internet), and she was older than you. Finally she woke up, applied to enter into university to study something she has really liked for many years (Japanese language, in her case). Now she's about to graduate university, and she even has lived and studied in Japan. If she could do it, so can you.
Best of luck to you!
Feel free to send me an email here at yahoo if you wish to talk further.
You can always get back on track, no matter what your condition. You could always go to an online school, if you like to be on the computer. There, you could learn the language you need to learn, make some new friends, and love your life again. It seems that all you are suffering from right now is boredom. Don't worry, things will be better. I promise.
Its completely normal. I'm assuming the loss of your mother plus moving to a foreign country has thrown you off balance a bit. You had to deal with a lot all at once, but you can get things back together and move on with your life. You could try going to school again or getting a job? That way you might meet some friends aswell. If you wanna talk you can email here-to-help01@hotmail.com
goodluck :)