What do you do when all hope is lost?!
Question: What do you do when all hope is lost?
I am not physically challenged or ugly. I am a rather handsome man in his 30s who takes care of himself. However I am suffering from chronic depression. As you can guess; I am single.
Depression takes so much out of your life. You can't fit in and in my case; the older you get, more you think about a way out of this prison and these are not pleasant thoughts.
I have so much going for me. Good job, good parents, health. But none of these seem to matter. I simply can't fit in. When I am at work; I say no to all social occasions such as drinks after work. When I am at events such as weddings I simply cannot connect. I usually go and hide. Once my cousin questioned me being at there to begin with. He wanted to know why I even came.
I always thought of family and religion as 2 pillars for my existence. I used to go to the synagogue every Saturday. I don't do that anymore because each and every session ended with my parents pointing out girls and me turning the other cheek. Then I was getting the nasty look from them especially my mom and the whole weekend was ruined. So I stopped going all together.
One shoe down; one to go. I still have my parents. Sometimes when my nephews come around (they are under 10); I don't even wanna play with them and try to ignore them. I am not mean but my personality is getting in the way of everything.
Previously doctors tried helping me out with medication such as effexor, zoloft and other anti-depressants. but they have noticeable side effects and they are like drugs if you know what I mean. Make you feel good for half a day and that is it.
Now things have become worse. What's bothering me the most now is my parents are sad because they think their luck sucks and sons and daughters of others that they know are successful and I am a disappointment. It kills me because I am not doing it on purpose. I just can't help it; I am sorry, ok?
I have always had suicidal thoughts but now it has become worse. A lot worse. I am constantly thinking of ways to end it and just the hell with everything else. But I can't. I don't believe it is a right thing to do and have others suffer afterward. But I have taken a turn for worse especially now that I am in my 30s and lonelier than ever.
Sorry; didn't mean to make this a long story. Everybody has their own issues to deal with. Suicide is not accepted in my religion or any other major religion. So I simply want to know --> "What do you do when all hope is lost"? I can't take this anymore and I feel like this world is not for me.
I appreciate your input.
-= losthope =-
Answers:
I have been there (suicidal, sectioned) and can sympathise with you. However do not give up hope and do something like committing suicide - it is the cowards way out and leaves family and friends in a never ending hell, wondering if there was something they could have done to help or could have stopped you if only they had known, I know it's hard but try to be strong and ask for help, it's hard to do but there is real help out there somewhere. If you don't ask for help then you'll never get it.
Now please go and tell somebody close to you, an out of hours GP, your local A&E, your local Police Station or your nearest Samaritans, even a neighbour, exactly how you are feeling NOW. You need help NOW not by the time this post is closed.
Things will get better with the right help and support and eventually you will feel better and be glad that you did not inflict all the pain and hurt on all the people who mean so much to you.
I'm still on medication but really I'd rather take it and be as I am now, being able to cope with being 53, children leaving home, realising that I am only 10 years younger than my mother was when she died etc.
If the medication caused side effects you couldn't live with then ask your GP or consultant to try different ones until you find whatever works for you, maybe with minimum side effects but ones that you can live with.
PLEASE, PLEASE GO AND GET HELP NOW - AN HOUR LATER AND IT COULD BE TOO LATE - YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING STUPID - YOU WILL NOT LIVE TO REGRET IT BUT YOUR PARENTS, FAMILY AND FRIENDS WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES! THINK HOW YOU WOULD FEEL IF ONE OF YOUR PARENTS COMMITTED SUICIDE.
Been suicidal, severely depressed, sectioned, hospitalised myself. Last year my best friend of 50 years was widowed when her husband committed suicide, without asking for help, and I see on a daily basis the aftermath of his actions,
honestly i didn't read anything but the bold part at the top.
but when all hope seems lost and i feel like **** i cut myself.
You sound like you have major depressive disorder. You should try other anti-depressants and see if there is one that will work for you Zoloft is the one with least side effects. Anti-depressants dont work for half a day, they are not fast acting, it take weeks for the serotonin to build up in your brain. Also, discuss with your doctor your problem with social interaction, it might be a symptom of something else, especially if you've always had trouble fitting in. Drugs alone don't help you also need therapy such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help change your thinking. Good luck.
God is love, and so life is largely about love and relationships, where we first must love God above all else, and then love others to honor God. If you get that one down, you should be fine as love is the main ingredient to making life feel good again. to start, hug your dog/friend/family. Life isn't just about the self, but in helping others and in that we find joy and love. If you are not looking happy, then people may not want to connect because you seem upset. Attitude seems to perpetuate itself --- like if you were to think positive thoughts, that pattern tends to go on, and if you think bad stuff, it can get really bad and you feel suicidal. So, the answer is to smile, be friendly, try to do some stuff for others, get out their and live your life. Also, think about becoming a Christian, as Jesus Christ, who was a Jew, died on the cross as payment for our sins, and knowing Him will help your mood and be the sacrifice you need to receive God's grace to go to heaven after you die someday. This is the Christian message --- you need to know God, your spiritual Father, then pray about your life. He can help you live a better life. As God is love, life is primarily about love and relationships in order to have a rich and full life. Also, you need to know God's Son, Jesus Christ, in your life as your Lord and Savior as Jesus died on the cross as payment for our sins. Having Him with you will give you God's blessing and forgiveness, as you live God's way. We need to know and follow God in this life so we can go to heaven after we die, and so we can get God's help now. Not following God leads to hell, eternal suffering. Instead, there is an important prayer to pray to become a born again Christian. This prayer should be said with faith in God and a sincere heart:
"Dear God, I know that I am a sinful person and I don't want to be like this anymore. I know that Jesus Christ died on the cross as payment for our sins, and I want to accept Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior forever so I can receive God's forgiveness, guidance, and go to heaven after I die. Thank you, dear God, for your mercy and guidance; in Jesus' name. Amen."
After saying this prayer, you should check out a Christian church like Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran.
Also, get into their Bible study group so you can learn more about God, Jesus, and God's will for your life. The Bible is God's instruction book about how to live a God-honoring life so you can go to heaven after you die. The church can also get you baptized and prayed for. You can pray for yourself daily too. God guide your life.
You are not alone, there are so many people with similar issues and I was there too. In fact, what u wrote is probably identical to how I felt not long ago.
First of all, u were right not to take antidepressants, they temporarily mask the problem without any cure.
You sound like you have a firm belief in ur religion, turn to God, He is ever near and always there for us.
I don't know what country u live in but I have travelled to this place in Pune:
www.osho.com
www.oshoisrael.co.il/english.html
Sounds crazy but Osho stuff works!
If u want any info, or need someone to listen, please feel free to contact me.
All the best.
well do what u want but just look at the consequences of your actions, I met a friend of mine who committed suicide at age 14 he said the same thing this world isn't for me, but in his note he said if only one person smiles at me before I reach the bridge I won't jump off, and no one smiled at him. so what I'm trying to say is you might know your handsome and all that but you may just need to hear it from someone else. so get a Girlfriend.
You say you don't socialise after work. Well nearly all my friends I'm made over the last few years were from work so I very strongly believe you should go out socialising. So what if you don't fit it. I'm Bi-polar and so when I was a bit hyper came across as a little bit nuts, people just accepted me for who I was though. When your out with a bunch of friends after work you can all let your hair down and have a couple (not to many) drinks and unwind and have a good laugh. We weren't a group of 'normal' people, there were people that drank to much, sober people, people like me with mental health issues, loud people, quiet people, shy people, fat, skinny, young, old, middle aged, people that preferred to smoke weed , there were people who were having relationship problems, people having kids, people moving house or buy a new car or a million of other things, but there was always people looking to get other peoples opinions, they'll want to hear what you think as well. If someone wanted to be your friend but they were not whatever you think 'normal' is of if they did not 'fit' in, I bet you'd still try to be their friend, well I bet your work mates will be happy to see you come out drinking and get to know you a bit better. Eventually you'll probably get to know 2 or 3 really well and start knocking round with them more. People need friends, so get out at least once a week. PLUS, once you have friends you can ask them stuff like the question you typed here and get a much more personalised answer. Good luck mate I hope things work out better for you. Don't top yourself cos it's weak and your parents will never ever forgive themselves.
hi i suppose i might be able to offer a little insight, it feels horrible to be isolated -which is what happened to me because of bullying and now im a shy, and have little confidence. but this helps me i hope it to will help you, There will always be someone worst off than you. i think you are a jew? because of the synagogal thing (sorry i dont know much about that kind of area)..
Everyone will die, but not everyone has a chance to live. You have been given the gift of life whether you want it or not, if you feel like your existence makes no difference on the planet CHANGE THAT. do charity work, volunteer , use your life to help better others.
i really hope this helps... And please dont you dare even think about it ok? just be. just be thankful, you have water, food and are healthy. dont be sorry that you are on this earth you are 1 in a million. everything ends up all right in the end, if its not aright it isn't the end.
All hope is not lost. My wife suffers from depression and has been off meds for about 5 years. She came to the conclueson that the depression was not going to take control of her life. The weird thing is that she stopped taking medication after her dad killed himself who also sufferd from depression. Never give up because if you do, it's own you. Good luck
listen i dont wanna sound mean but suicide is not the answer. there really isnt an answer. all i can give u is an understanding. life beats the hell out of all of us. some of us lose family members, we get jumped by gangs, kids shooting up schools, ect. people take these occurences differently in life, some stay strong or some hold on too it till it rips them apart. so let me tell u this. life gave u a 150 pound rock and u are carrying it around tiring urself and getting depressed over it. its ur choice to drop the rock and let it go or suicide and let someone who loves u carry the rock. just drop it and move on
best of luck to you
seen it many times