I'm a caregiver for my mom and I become emotional. Does that mean I'm !

Question: I'm a caregiver for my mom and I become emotional. Does that mean I'm depressed?

People around me will always say that I'm a good, devoted daughter. I'm the only one here (the youngest of all my siblings) to take care of mom who had a mini-stroke last year and lives in her own house. Also, I'm a single mom. As you can see, my plate is full. My mom is now separated from her husband because he's in a nursing home due to Alzheimers. This is very stressful in itself. Tonight, I went out for a couple hours but my mom made me feel guilty because she said she was lonely while I wasn't there (she always says that and it gets to me). I see her every single day, but when I go out, she'll say that time passes by slowly, etc. I told her tonight that she should've invited someone over, but she said that it isn't easy to find available people. For some reason, the conversation turned sour and we barely talked after that. She then said I put her in a sad mood. I came back home crying. This type of situation happens once in a while. I feel as though I can't do anything right for her. I cry about it once in a while too. What can I do?

Answers:

Something needs to change or yes you will be depressed. You don't need that in your life or in your child's life. You first need to take of yourself then your child then be there for your mom. It's wrong that your mom expects you to do certain things and your other siblings nothing. You need to try family counseling or talk to someone that has gone through the same experience. She needs to go and do senior citizen activities like bingo(fun not w/ money),crotchet, learn a new hobby. Something that will occupy her mind and life. She needs a companion, a friend. You can only do so much for her, don't feel guilty about it. You have have to take time for yourself and enjoy life, it makes you a better person.

Get her a cat. Or guilt your siblings into helping bare the load of visiting her when you need time out of the house. Its not fair for you to have to take care of her by yourself... unless you're living with her and using her money to help pay your bills, then you're out of luck and should feel guilty ;)

No your not your just stressed.

Let's get serious. Care giving is a major risk factor for depression. I present a 6 year longitudinal study
on care givers. The trouble is that depression does not vanish if a spouse died.

Chronic stress and age-related increases in the proinflammatory cytokine IL-6 -- Kiecolt-Glaser et al. 100 (15): 9090 -- Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences
http://www.pnas.org/cgi/content/full/100…

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/dep…

Yeah yeah..good devoted daughter. What your really need is some one to share the burden of taking care of your mom. Your mom is making you feel guilty? You need to tell her off the bat, "Mom, Im worn out. There is only so much I can do! I have a family and I cant be here with you 24/7"

If she cant see that you need to stay away. You said it was a mini stroke? Is there an adult day care you can send her to?

Franklly I would say, "Mom if what I am doing isnt good enough we will have to find you a home"

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I'm a caregiver for my mom and I become emotional. Does that mean I'm !

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