I think I'm confused about myself?!
Question: I think I'm confused about myself?
When I was younger, I was a completely different person. I was gorgeous, boys liked me, I was outgoing. I guess I was mainly influenced because I had a great best friend who was down to earth.
She then left when I was eleven. She moved to live six hour from me. I missed her. We were craz together and acted older than we should of but I had the best Fun ever. Everytime I saw her I was reminded of all the good times.
I moved on but this girl I knew was jealous of me and I couldn't stand up for myself. I was bullied when I went to middle school and I developed paranoia and OCD. I felt like everyone was out to get me cos this girl Hurt me so bad. She is popular now and I hate her so much. I then changed completely. I was shy, more careful about what I said. I thought differently and I focused on school work more, enough on becoming successful in academic studies.
I moved schools to a private school and I love it here. But i hate the community I live in. Everyondy knows each other and I feel like we all have a role in reality. I hate cliques and I hate it if you talk to someone everyone knows what kind of thing your in.
I want it to stop.
I saw my friend yesterday and she has a boyfriend. Her life is so good right now, I'm jealous. But as soon as I saw her. I snapped into the old person I was. I wanted to party, drink and have sex. I felt different.
Now I'm sitting at home feeling like shut. I want to move, I feel as though I was born in the wrong place. I screwed up my life. I have never been kissed or had a boyfriend yet and I hate life.
I keep cutting my wrists because I'm so disgusted with myself. I hate my parents they are lame. I want to move, live by myself. I keep thinking suicidal cos I miss my friend but she has grown up she is fifteen but she has a life. I don't.
Answers:
What I've gathered from this is that your upset because you haven't had a boyfriend yet and you've had some friend troubles?
Well so have I? I mean, I had loads of great friends when I was 11 that had to leave but I made new ones. I've had loads of ups and downs, fights with friends, people who have made me feel crappy so much so I didn't even want to go to school. But I spoke to people about it, and everybody understands.
And so will everyone understand you, so talk to someone. Everyone thinks they have lame parents- your a teenager.
You have to remember that your not alone- I bet tons of other people hate the girl you hate. I bet tons of other people think their parents are lame. I bet tons of other people haven't had a boyfriend yet.
Your only 15! I'm 15 and I haven't got a boyfriend, nor have I ever kissed a boy. But I don't care, cause it's not like your old. Trust me- there are TONS of people who feel EXACTLY the same as you. You and your friend are different people- if your just going to wish you where her all day then your completely wasting your life away. Its a waste of your precious time so stop it and grow up.
is seeing your friend is making you feel jealous and upset, cut down on how often you see her. Talk about how you feel with someone you trust, or see a councellor for impartial advice. it will get better.
Be mature. Don't lose hope.
i wish people like you would realise some people have real problems.
i think you should learn to appreciate what you have, when you grow up you'll have to learn to stop indulging in self pity and realise there's a world out there. stop thinking about yourself and focus on something else.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-pity
There's plenty of time to party, drink and have sex. 15 is very young, and you're still developing, both physically and mentally. You have a long time to find out what kind of person you are. Sure, you can have fun, but education is important if you want to get anywhere in life. Just try to find a balance. You're very young; don't feel so hateful and depressed because you're not living as recklessly as your friend. Sooner or later, those people have to slow down when responsibility catches up to them, and when it does, they usually have problems with it. So balance things out. And see someone or talk to someone about the self-harming, since it's very dangerous for you.