i jump from one addiction to another why?!

I TOO HAVE BEEN IN A SITUATION LIKE YOURS, except I was using drugs...and I was drinking and doing other things I shouldn't have been doing. So...people like you and I (who have struggled with addictions) often times have some UNFULFILLED NEED OR WANT THAT OFTEN GOES ALL THE WAY BACK TO OUR CHILDHOOD OR SOME OTHER EARLIER TIME OF YOUR LIFE. Do you feel like there's an empty "hole" or "void" within that leaves you feeling depressed and empty, causing you to pursue addictive substances and activities to feel better? Well, maybe or maybe not...and by this I mean you might not recognize that empty void within because it's often anchored deep within our subconscious minds and the painful things that may have happened to cause this may be buried deep inside your psyche with it, leaving you with an empty void you are constantly trying to fill with this or that. If this applies to you, you've probably realized that NOTHING seems to help in the long run. Think of the empty space like a puzzle piece...shopping, sex, alcohol, gambling, food, etc. might be able to be squeezed into that empty space in the puzzle, but it will never be a perfect fit...your addictions being proof of this. THAT "VOID" OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT COULD BE AN UNFULFILLED NEED OR WANT THAT WAS NEVER MET AND THEREFORE NEVER FULFILLED...MAYBE AS A CHILD, MAYBE AS A TEEN, MAYBE RIGHT NOW AS AN ADULT AND SHOULD BE SOUGHT AND SHOULD BE FIXED, EITHER BY PURSUING THAT UNFULFILLED NEED OR WANT OR COMING TO PEACE WITH WHATEVER IT WAS IF IT CAN'T BE ACQUIRED. It's your duty to find out whatever it is that your subconscious mind is wanting fulfilled and your obligation to do whatever you can to fix the problem, because you and I both know that no amount of mood-altering substances or activities can EVER fill that emptiness within.

PLEASE NOTE THAT EVERYTHING I'VE SAID MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU, SO DON'T TAKE IT AS GOSPEL. YOUR ADDICTIONS COULD BE FROM SOMETHING ELSE SO PLEASE DON'T INTERPRET THIS AS BEING RELEVANT TO YOU AND YOUR SITUATION. NO, I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. PLEASE SEE A THERAPIST OR OTHER QUALIFIED HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL FOR PROPER TREATMENT AND GOD BLESS YOU.

ALSO: Throughout most of my prepubescent years and the majority of my adolescence, I didn't have any friends and didn't have a girlfriend and was picked on and teased constantly. It was horrible. Because of this, I yearned for ACCEPTANCE FROM MY PEERS AS WELL AS FRIENDSHIP AND A GIRLFRIEND, but sadly, this crucial NEED WASN'T MET, LEAVING ME ALONE AND DEPRESSED BECAUSE THESE VERY IMPORTANT NEEDS WERE NEVER MET, leaving me alone and depressed and filled with an emptiness that should have been filled up by relationships with my peers. Therefore, I began using drugs and alcohol shortly after leaving for college and these chemicals helped, but they just served as a band-aid...or puzzle piece that didn't fit correctly but did its job of helping me feel better, but not very well and not for long, as there are no substitutes for friendship, acceptance and love. Now I realize why I do the things I do, but I haven't come to grips with these things completely and I absolutely need to if I want to go through life feeling happy and content with my life. Rejection is one of the worst things...it really damaged me. ONE MORE THING: WHEN I THOUGHT BACK TO MY CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART (PROBABLY THE ONLY GIRL I HAVE EVER LOVED, ALTHOUGH I WAS IN THE 4th GRADE, HAHAH...), I would get...and still do get...this warm and fuzzy feeling in my head and chest, almost like a buzzing sensation, being most concentrated around my heart and leaves me feeling warm and tingly; it's like total euphoria and feels A LOT LIKE THE FEELING YOU GET FROM NARCOTIC PAIN KILLERS, as these drugs (and other drugs of abuse that I've used) have been shown to activate the same pathways as Love, which is why they feel so good and are so heavily abused. These drugs often times "turn on" your brain's reward system just like normal, healthy human interactions do, as well as accomplishments, love, sex, etc. produce. This is how I figured it out: some of the drugs that I've used to get high happen to activate the same parts of my brain as those unfulfilled needs and wants and desires that I never got never activated. My addictions were like substitutes for Love and friendship at what-have-you...

Sorry for the excessive post...I just had to get it out. God Bless.

My Life.

why dont you join a support group or see a counselor? it really helps if you have people around you that supports you and urges you to change for the better

You r dePressed. Learn to find eternal happiness within.

Because THAT is what we with an addictive personality does.