is depression to be expected after quitting an addiction?!
Question: Is depression to be expected after quitting an addiction?
a few things you should know:
1. I started looking at pornography when I was 11. I was at my friend's house, and he pulled it up on the computer monitor. he then asked me what I liked to look at, etc. from then on, I looked at it almost every day, on and off, for quite a while.
2. I was realy hooked when I started pleasuring myself to it, not just looking at it. I thought porn+masturbation=pleasure beyond wildest dreams. it was all down hill from here.
3. when my grandparent's died, I started looking at porn more and more. I looked at it when I was missing them, stressed or mad for whatever reason, etc.
4. it has especially escalated in the last year, with my parent's divorce. I just couldn't handel it, so I would look at pornography after I would cry. it really helped my depression. I am still sad, I feel like my childhood went out the door with my dad. I am so sad, I wish we coiuld go back to the way it was. when I get like this, I look at porn, and it makes me feel better for a short time, until I need it again.
NOW, I have confessed it yet again, and am more committed to stopping then ever before. I don't want to look at it again. it really is an addiction, and I want to stop. It's not healthy, spiritually or physically.
I am getting depressed. I'm sad. the littlest things that a few days ago (when I got my "fix") I could brush off of my shoulder, now really make my heart hurt. I just want to cry.
is this to be expected?
how long might it last?
is there anything that might make me feel better (besides looking at porn again)?
thanks!
Answers:
I am of the camp that addiction no matter what form it takes is a "solution" to a percieved problem. You have been using the source of your addiction to avoid feeling your feelings. As a result your feeling that have gone unexpressed and unexperienced get repressed. In your conscious mind you seem to think they are gone and that you have avoided them but they are not gone. As you stuff your feelings down into your subconscious they build and turn negative. They bubble up sometimes as overreacting to situations with more emotional energy than the situation demands among other ways. You continue to try to distract and supress with the addiction. It takes more and more of the addictive behaviour to deny these repressed emotions and to continue to repress new ones you don't want to feel. When you quit the behaviour there is a period in which these emotions bubble up to the surface often unannounced and for reasons not easily understood. Our minds try to find a cause. We may be confused about it all. It is natural although unpleasant. Understanding that they need to be accepted and let go of is key but this is easier said than done as they can be overwhelming at times. This is a dynamic that keeps any addict going back to the behaviour or even finding a new addiction. You really have to go through this with faith. "This too shall pass" is good to remember. Your feelings are returning and this is a sign of healing. This is a process of cleansing and purging and purification if you will. It is not easy. We never know when balance will return. There will be ups and downs and the feeling of an emotional roller coaster ride. You may need a support group or at least a network of people who understand and care to get you through and to learn how to process these feelings. This process is an important part of healing but is often misread. Know that these feelings cannot truly hurt you and that the energy of these emotions will disapate and become less intense over time. Acceptance, compassion and unconditional love for self and other are good avenues for transmutation of these energies. Forgiveness is key in letting go. Accept with compassion and forgive unconditionally and let go. Most of all keep the faith that your higher Self is with you always through this. You aren't alone no matter how it may seem that you are. Keep Faith and you will endure. In time the clouds will disapate and the sunlight will shine through.
Theres lots of things to make you feel better anythink like going for a walk anythink like that. Are you on any medication for you;re depression? i would go and seek help i know you may find it hard but talking does help im a depression suffer myself i talk about my problems to a psychiatrist it does me the world of good that im getting things off me chest abit. It seems like you've had a touch life but it does get better. One time i was like this i use to watch all them sort of stuff before i even knew i suffered with depression and depressed most of the time but it does take time but trust me it does get better. Good Luck hope you feel better soon but please do seek help if you are not all ready depression does need to be treated.
I mean, if looking at porn is harming you in some way like you're masturbating 4+ times a day then yeah you should probably cut back but quitting masturbating is just dumb.
You're a man, you need to masturbate to cut through the sexual tension that you get, as a man. So stopping completely is just a ridiculous thing to think about. Forget about your god and your priest for a moment and realize that it's a completely normal thing to do.
But to answer your question, yes, after quitting any so-called addiction is almost certain to make you depressed.
You may be "self medicating" with porn. Meaning that you are and have been depressed but have found something that is not good to help with your depression. There is help and you really do need some. You can go to the site nami.org which is the site for the National Alliance on Mental Illness. On their site you can find the phone number for your local chapter. There are there for help, information, support, and they have the best resources for the help that you need in your area.
There are also phone numbers that you can call that are staffed by professionals who can help you 24 hours a day. One is 1-800-273-TALK and 1-800-4ACHILD that number is for teens also.