I have a child who is bi-polar and he is very mean to his siblings. How do I con!


Question: I have a child who is bi-polar and he is very mean to his siblings. How do I control this, he has no remorse.?
He also has ADHA, has failed 1st grade and is now 8 yrs old. Corpral punishment does no good, he doesn't care what you do to him or take away from him. He is not doing good in school and is very mean to his brothers and he thinks it is funny. I am worried because I am afraid he will hurt one of them. Please help.

Answers:

I hate to ask questions in pursuit of an answer, but as a family therapist I have to ask what else is going on in the family? Usually a child like this is the symptom bearer for a much larger family problem. Has the child experienced any losses in relationship through death, divorce, or distance ? Are other family members having any problems? Who labeled him ADHD? Is he on medicat ion? Many times PTSD can look like ADHD. Has he experienced any significant trauma since birth? Loss of significant attachments (day care providers or grandparents), sexual or physical abuse, etc. Are the siblings older or younger? Have you sought counseling for your son? He sounds like a very unhappy little boy who's behaviors reflect what he is feeling inside-unworthy of love. He didn't start out this way. Create a timeline from birth to the present and log significant life events. You might be surprised at what you find. Each child responds differently to common family experiences. What you percieved as insignificant may seem like the end of the world to this kid. Make it your New Years resolution to take your family to family counseling. Most universities have clinics that provide family counseling on a sliding scale. Your child is worth it!



I agree with your first answer, and also, want to say that for some people, the medications make people much worse off, the meds can cause agression. In my case, adderall made me very aggressive, and a lot of bipolar drugs were no good. The bipolar itself, which I doubt this diagnosis is even correct, is unlikely to cause someone to have no remorse.

I think this boy has a trauma history, that's my opinion, and that therapist who answered you is bang on. But do look at the meds, also. the docs will not admit the meds are the problem until AFTER the fact - when you stop the meds, and are doing better, then they will say "oh yes, some people have this problem wtih adderall" or whatever med it was.




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