How can I control my anger? Almost busted my cousins face in?!


Question: How can I control my anger? Almost busted my cousins face in?
Oh my gosh, I never felt that angry in my whole entire life. My cousin is like, 10 years old, I know she doesn't know any better, but she's really different from other kids. Her dad spoils her, gets her everything she wants, her and her dad lives with my family because they need the support. Although after seeing the personality and attitude differences with me and my cousin, my uncle came to the conclusion that he spoiled her daughter. But I think it's too late now, she talks back to EVERY adult, when someone tells her what to do, she always cusses and calls them **** and everything. I don't know where she learned that! No one in our family cusses, she's even bossing around MY SISTER. My sister's 12 years old and my cousin always bosses her around! My sister was so sweet, she always got good grades and everything. My sister is a little dumb..not on school subjects...I guess..Like she can't really read the situation well, she can't really figure out things that well by herself..and yeah. Well, today, my cousin really did cross the line, it was my turn to clean the dinner table and while I was cleaning and putting away the dinner table..( I'm korean, we have those little foldable dinner tables) she forced the table down for some reason, I don't know, and I was a little sore so I couldn't hold up the table with her pushing her weight down on it. I was a little bit angry, but I've gotten used to it so I just let her do what she wanted. And then she started drinking some kind of raspberry thing in the living room..my mom told her not to, my cousin's really filthy. Everyone had to pick up after her, but after a few months, we gave up and now my house is a complete mess. Well, my cousin started cussing at my mom JUST BECAUSE MY MOM TOLD HER NOT TO DRINK IN THE LIVING ROOM. My mom can't speak english that well, so she didn't understand my cousin, so I had to defend my mom. That was the time I almost lost control, I was so close to punching and kicking her and make her say sorry to my mom. But then I guess my mom saw how angry I was getting so she quickly gave me something to drink and I calmed down....

Now I realize how little control I have over my anger, I thought I had complete control over it because I don't get mad easily since my cousin always got me mad in the past and things..It was a good thing I wasn't alone, I got really really scared of myself, I might've even killed her! All the anger I bottled up inside me for 2 years came up and I even started thinking about murder! I managed to calm myself down, but I don't think I can do that again...my mom is in a tough financial situation right now, the economy and supporting 5 people, although my uncle works and gets paid, my cousin practically uses half his income on the things she wants, so we can't afford the time and money on anger management classes or a psychologist or whatever. Isn't there anything I can do that won't cost money? Like yoga or something? ANYTHING that will help me control my anger? If that happens again, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

Answers:

View: http://ezinearticles.com/?Releasing-Your… Other options: Take a couple of deep breaths; fill the lower part of your lungs first, THEN the chest. If you can't deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent you from allowing yourself to become angry, in the first place) it is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards. If not, perhaps by walking away later, and bellowing your rage and/or frustration. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards. Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. Let yourself feel the burning energy of that anger, and visualise it, as vividly as possible, as a hot flame cleansing you. It can help to have someone you can talk to. For more physically inclined people, a punching bag, or hitting your pillow, can be an effective release mechanism: visualise, as vividly as you can, that you are striking back at the cause of that anger.

"But next time, when you get mad, just remember this quote: 'Those who anger you, conquer you.' It's basically saying that when you give someone the power to make you mad, or let it get to you, it's like they're controlling you. When I realized that, it made me mad, so I try to control my anger and not let people see it. You can still control your anger without being walked all over. You just have to draw a line." Try saying to yourself, in your mind: "I am fire! I am ice!". Repeat for as long as it takes for you to calm down sufficiently. Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-… or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody… or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (no flexibility required) at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_1… Qi Gong, Tai Chi, or regular yoga suits others better. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at www.mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists" or www.tapping.com Professional is best. - There is a version for use in public places, (you could claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage/tapping your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I sometimes make myself angry, I deeply and completely accept myself." These will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly, and can also help you become a calmer, more self controlled person, who is less influenced by the behaviour of others.

Books: The Anger Workbook - a 13 step plan to help you. - Les Carter & Frank Minirth. - Minirth Meier Clinic Series, & Anger Management For Dummies. - W. Doyle. PhD. - Gentry, & "Feeling Good - the new mood therapy" by David D. Burns, (recommended) & Angry All The Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control by Ron Potter-Efron.Try your library, local bookstore, or www.amazon.com for these. Check out: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns… Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines are at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_1…



If this was the good old days I would say that kid deserves a good spanking. Sometimes that is all they respond to.



Everybody goes through a situation like this. I get angry sometimes and want to explode but I know that if I say something or do something there will be consequences to pay. I just leave the area and breathe deeply or count to ten and tell muskeg to calmdown. When your alone go ahead and think about those evil thoughts it relieves stress and anger.

It's happened to me before




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