I'm having issues with my friend who has an anxiety disorder. Any advice?!


Question: I'm having issues with my friend who has an anxiety disorder. Any advice?
Okay so I was best friends with this girl for a few years and then she got an eating disorder and was really thin and unhealthy. After about a year of dealing with the eating disorder her anxiety started to get really bad and she would have panic attacks all the time and she pretty much stopped being able to talk to me. Our families are friends and i remember going to party at her house and she wouldn't really talk to me. I was so upset that night and had to leave because it was just so weird. She wasn't mad at me or anything it just felt like we didn't know eachother anymore. Soooo because are families are friends I see her a few times a week but we both feel really awkward around eachother. She still has panic attacks a lot, is OCD, and very clingy and dependent on her parents. I can't really talk to her about it because of her anxiety and it would be awkward for her. She doesn't have any because of her anxiety. Somedays it seems like she wants to try and be friends with me an other days she avoids me so its confusing. I miss being friends with her =(

Answers:

Wow, at first I thought this was one of my friends posting a question about me, because this sounds exactly like me, lol. I have anxiety and I also have an eating disorder. I might have OCD as well, but I'm not sure about that one. I'm very clingy when it comes to my boyfriend (unfortunately >.<) and I'm dependent. So, I think I know what your friend is going through. When a person has anxiety, it's really hard to just think positively, especially when you have an eating disorder. The eating disorder itself makes you push people you love and care about away, because you're basically a slave to your eating disorder. Your friend sounds like she has a very conflicted mind, and a lot of problems. I think you should try to talk to her. Tell her that you know things are a little awkward, but you want to be friends like you used to be, that you miss that. Tell her you're willing to be there for her and help her in any way that you can, because really, that's all you can do. Is she getting help for this? Because if not, I think you should talk to her family about getting her some help. Eating disorders are not something to be taken lightly as they can be fatal. Other than talking to her and being sincere and caring, there's not much you can do. People with anxiety and eating disorders are very sensitive individuals who require a lot of patience, so building your friendship might take a while and you will need to be there for her and be patient. If you've done all you could and nothing changes, sadly, it may be time to move on and when you have those family events, try to stay away from her if nothing changes.



Print: Limit "worrying time" to 30 - 45 mns, daily, possibly when you get home, or after your evening meal, but not too close to bedtime, after which, resolve firmly to refuse to worry again on that day. Understand that to do otherwise would be counterproductive to your mental health, and enjoyment of life. Having had your "worry time" for the day, you can just write down any more thoughts that come to mind, and say to yourself: "Well, I'll just have to worry about that tomorrow, won't I?". It's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, or emotions, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts: When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind. After identifying and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method. Try replacing a negative thought with a positive affirmation of your choice, like: "I am a unique individual, with my own set of skills, and good points", or "I may not be perfect, but I'm doing the best I can, right now".

Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-… or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody…
or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate and/or Tai Chi, Qi Gong, or yoga. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at www.mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists" or www.tapping.com (13 free videos). Professional is best. - There is a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I have anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself." Herbal remedies, such as chamomile, passionflower, or St. John's wort, are often effective, but the idea is (as with anxiolytic medication) to use them like water wings, or training wheels on a bicycle, providing initial support, and giving time for other treatments, such as therapy, and relaxation techniques, to take effect. See http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/conditio… A free E course in CBT is at: http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome 85% of people are suggestible, to some extent, so consider professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines are at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_8… where this came from; read the rest.

Try your bookstore, Amazon.com, or BarnesAndNoble.com for these books: How to Control Your Anxiety before It Controls You, by Albert Ellis, & Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, by Edmund Bourne, & Natural Relief for Anxiety: Complementary Strategies for Easing Fear, Panic & Worry by Edmund J. Bourne, Arlen Brownstein, and Lorna Garano, & The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques: Understanding How Your Brain Makes You Anxious and What You Can Do to Change It by Margaret Wehrenberg, & Managing Anxiety. Kennerley, Helen. (1995). Oxford University Press, and/or "Calm : a proven four-step process designed specifically for women who worry" - Denise Marek, Hay House, c2006. and/or "Women who worry too much : how to stop worry & anxiety from ruining relationships, work & fun" - Holly Hazlett-Stevens. by Hazlett-Stevens, Holly. New Harbinger, 2005.




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