My mother threatening me....?!


Question: My mother threatening me....?
My mom is a bit of a nutter. Ok, so she's been emotionally and verbally abusive with us since we were kids. She would tell us how we're sinners, how we're gonna pay, how we deserve to die like our dad, etc. She also moved us to live with our uncle who was physically abusive, who's been in trouble with the law and who threatened to kill us numerous times. My brother ended up like my uncle and mom, and I ended up depressed, suicidal, and withdrawn. Now I've finally found a job, and want to move away from them, and my mom is trying to sabotage it by going to the mental institution and saying how she wants to report both me and my brother. Now my brother does have rage issues, and threatens a lot as well, but I'm trying to get my life in order and now she wants to screw it up. I've always been the scapegoat of the family, and whenever they needed to abuse someone physically or mentally, it's been me, and now she wants to report me. And I think she's doing this because I finally found a job and because I refused to come back and live with her and "support'" her as she says. Ever since I refused to live with her she's basically been threatening how she's not going to give me any money, how she's going to report me to the mental institution and so on and so forth. How do I deal with this? Do I just keep a cool head and go on with life or what?

Answers:

The last line is really where we need to start= Have a cool head and go on with your life. You are living on your own now and if you are an adult there isn't much she can do. Unless you are a danger to yourself or others, nobody can have you locked up in an institution. Even if she reported you, it is unlikely anything would come of it. If you are mentally stable she she isn't you have the upper hand.

My advice is just to stay away. Have as little to do with her as possible. If she is threatening you, you can take legal action. If you feel like she might actually hurt someone report her. If not, just stay away. She might be family but she is obviously very sick and needs help. Unless you want to get caught up in her drama, it is probably wise to cut ties. It is sad but when things get this ugly you don't have many other choices. Best of luck!



she should get help



expect the best. be prepared for the worst. fck what others think and do you own thing.



When you are triggered the best thing to try and do is ground yourself by doing activities such as the ones on this list:

1. breathe slowly and deeply. In for 5 seconds. Hold for 5 seconds. Out for 5 seconds. and keep repeating it over and over.

2. Use your 5 senses. Smell 5 things where you are now. Taste 5 things. Hear 5 things. See 5 things. Touch 5 things. BUT if one of the senses is what triggered you don't use that sense, skip over it and use another one twice.

3. Call someone you trust, like a friend or your T

4. Write in a journal

5. Draw

6. Change your scenery. If you are outside go inside and visa versa.

7. Write poetry or a story

8. Read a book

9. Play video games

10. Write a letter to someone who hurt you. Then crumple it up and throw it away. Put all the thoughts down on paper as if you would show the person but tear it up and never show them. That is a way for you to get it out.

11. Go for a walk or jog. Be mindful, look at your surroundings and feel the sun, rain, snow, hot, cold.

12. Hold ice in your hand. The cold will snap you back to the present and wont leave any marks

13. Snap a rubber band against your wrist. Once again it will bring you back to the present.

14. Repeat phrases such as "I am safe now" "It's over" "It's just a memory"

15. If you have a pet like a dog or cat pet them, brush them, hug them. Pets hold unconditional love for their owners and are amazing at making people feel better.

Add your own to this list...

http://selfhelp.yuku.com

my mom is abusive too and i found that supportive websites and that list that i posted helps me calm down. try to get out of there but i know how hard that can be, i still live with my mom...im here for you. you arent alone.



oh wow, my mom is Like that too. but not as bad. sorry to hear that. My mom would hit us if we didn't put the towels up or wash the dishes. And tell us were whores and how she wished we were never born. Me and my sisters would get into physical fights with her. Becasue once we got older we started to fight back and defend ourselves. I can't tell you how many times cops have been to my house. And she would always say shes gonna report me and my sisters if we ran away and she told the cops to take us to juvie for no reason. My mom wasn't always like that it's bc my dad was crazy and always tried to kill himself in frount of us and he held guns to her. And for her staying with him so long she got physco. But my mom's so different now, She's found a different guy and were all happy now. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, I would say you don't need people like that in your life. Just get away from them and move on with life. Maybe on day they"ll change and get help.



The fact that you're very clear in your wording as well as your determination shows that you know what's best for you. Read between the lines of what you wrote & see that you know you want to move forward & deserve to do so. It's unfortunate that your family has been less than what you expected or wanted growing up, so has my family.

We all have to make a choice at some point & move on. To get more in depth would be advisable for a therapist because they can ask you personal questions as to why, how, when, etc. It's an annoying process, but very helpful.

I hope this helps.




The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories