Should i continue on with our divorce or give my husband a second chance? Opinio!


Question: Should i continue on with our divorce or give my husband a second chance? Opinions?
Im 26 and have been married for 6yrs, When we met we were head over feels and couldn't get enough of each other, We married after 8mnths together, is 34 and travels the US & Europe alot with his job, which at first wasn't a problem for me as he always wanted me with him. I gave birth to our daughter 2yrs ago and she is the apple of his eye, At times we wouldn't see each other for a month at a time. If we did have time together when he wasn't touring i would be busy with the baby & he'd be in the studio, We we're really happy together and he always told me how much he was in love with me, He would by me flowers, hold me next to him & other times just spend hours in bed with each other. I love him so much but we argued many times of our minimum time we had together and distants. Things blew up one night as he was leaving to tour and it got very heated, he said that i was the reason we cant be around each other often, That i must resent him for holding me back on my youth, He shouted that he regretted ever meeting me, That if he never met me then he wouldn't be so in love with me & hate me at the same time. That really hurt me & when he was about to apologize i told him that i regretted marrying him, it still kills me that i said that and he told me that i should do something about it, Something he said to me is still in my head that i don't understand what he meant, He told me that This is our beginning coming to an end. and then he walked out. I filed for divorce and when he found out he called me and begged me not to but the distants and fighting was killing us that i thought it was the best thing to do, We have been apart for 5months now and the papers are due to be signed soon. He keeps calling me and comes by my apartment asking me to dinner even on days he doesnt have to pick up our daughter, when i tell him to give it up he tells me that he wont sign the papers and that we owe it to ourselves & our baby to give it one one shot and that he loves me too much to give up on me. I love this man to death but i cant go back to the way things were, i cant handle it. Any advice?

Answers:

Hi,
Sounds to me that when he was yelling at you that wasn't really the case....he was really yelling at himself because he is frustrated that he has to be away from you and your baby. He has to earn a living but being separated from you is killing him. Sounds like he loves you deeply and I say try to work it out somehow. Maybe try going on more tours with him (your child isn't in school yet). When you do spend time together make it the best time ever. :) :) :) Don't make a huge mistake because in the heat of an argument you said things you didn't really mean.

A long life



Talk to him & tell him how u feel



Hi Melissa!

You don't mention any infidelity in your marriage or problems with trusting your husband. It sounds like the stress of being apart for so long has created distance between you and your husband and your communication and intimacy has suffered. You are both young and have not been married very long. What you both need is a renewed commitment from one another to move forward and not revisit the past, but learn from it.

If at all possible, find a way to spend more time together, even if it takes one of you making a change in your job or your current location. This is going to be very important for your daughter as she grows as well. The old saying that "distance make the heart grow fonder" is not always true. More commonly when it comes to keeping a marriage and family together, distance makes the heart grow more indifferent.

Marriage counseling from a licensed marriage and family therapist would be helpful. Another option would be a pastor or priest. Maybe the one that married you. Some couples find that renewing their vows and remembering why they chose to be together in the first place keep them focused on their commitment and love for one another.

If you need to speak with a counselor, we can help you. We can also locate a therapist in your city and state from our data base. Please keep reaching out and hope to hear from you soon!

Take care,

Counselor, CJ
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
hotline@boystown.org

www.parenting.org



Give him a second chance; it sounds like you both love each other and can work things out. Taking him back doesn't mean going back to the way things were, you need to sit down, and unemotionally and rationally communicate your expectations for the future. If you are both willing to go to a marriage counselor, I know from experience they do help you see things objectively. Both of you can forgive each other for those things you said; we all make mistakes, especially in emotional situations when we vent. Perhaps your marriage will be stronger after going through all this, and it gives your daughter a good example of commitment and character.



Arguments are natural matter in a family. But you have to compromise many things with your partner for the sake of your family. But before giving divorce, you may give a chance to your husband. You can act as you're leaving him and you should try to live without him for several days. If both of you feel uncomfortable withou each other, you may continue your relation. And if you or he feel much freedom without living with each other you may divorce your partner.



I would definitely say give him another chance. And as the others have said, have a good conversation with him. Before you go into it, write down what you would like to discuss so that you don't forget when you get caught up in the moment. It happens, I know. Getting counseling would also be beneficial.

MAKE SURE YOU APOLOGIZE. Don't do it if you don't mean it, or if it's something you didn't do, but leaving hurtful words unaccounted for can fester in a person's mind. Just like you can't forget what he said, some of your words are probably floating around in the back of his mind as well.

Again, the best thing to do is clear the air, discuss what happened, make a plan for where to go, and possibly counseling. I won't say you have to stay in the relationship just because you have a child, but I can say that whatever decision you make will affect her. I know this one personally. It shouldn't be the only thing informing your decision, but it's a big thing to consider.

More personal experience than I care to have.



Give him another chance! No one gets divorced over an argument! Unless there is an underlying reason other than this why you want the divorce. If there is no other reason at all, then give him a second chance it is ridiculous to end a 6 year relationship over a 20 min. argument.

Personal



I'm not married myself, I'm haven't had a children with my partner but what I do know is that it's possible to fall out of love and back in love with the same person. Perhaps it's that your focusing way too much in the politics of it and maybe need to focus on something else (sorry I don't want to sound rude it's just you haven't explained much about urself as a women so I am just assuming here). The fact that's it is possible to fall in and out of love may mean that you two just need space-you may have to move to your apartment and live with just your daughter. The fact that you have a daughter doesn;t mean that you should stay together just for her because it's not making anything better if you stay with your husband and your not happy, it won't make your little girls life any better it wont improve any social factors at all but if you love him and he loves you then stay together not just for your little girl but for your own happiness as well as he's




The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories