Why do I have an inferiority complex?!


Question: Why do I have an inferiority complex?
I'm a fairly bright and accomplished high school student. I wouldn't call myself a genius, although I would probably be classified as "above average" in most categories. But for some reason, I keep comparing myself to others and wonder why I am never as happy as they are, as bright as they are, et cetera, et cetera... the list goes on. Academically, I am easily one of the top students at all the high schools I've been to (I've been to multiple high schools due to personal and family circumstances), have won numerous awards (academic or otherwise), and have always scored extremely highly on standardized tests (SAT, AP's, etc.). I even got into Mensa when I was 13, meaning that my test results placed me within the top 2% worldwide in terms of IQ. I am also multilingual, have traveled extensively, volunteer in my school and community, and play two instruments, so I wouldn't call myself antisocial. Yet I still can't help feeling every day that there's something wrong with me, that I'm not intelligent enough... is this feeling normal? I'm not really sure what to do about it. I do try my best to "get out there" and to participate in activities in my area that strike my fancy, but for some reason I'm having this strange feeling of having done nothing at all.

Is anyone else in the same position? I'd really like to hear your thoughts...

Answers:

I have experienced the exact same thing. I was identified gifted, did amazing things, still had a hard time reaching any kind of peace or accomplishment.

We are evolved to survive and reproduce and we have modules in our minds that compel us to compare ourselves to others and use that information to improve. Sometimes, these evolved mental states are way too successful. Think of how women make themselves completely ugly while starving themselves, still thinking they are fat.

Perhaps your problem is that you're overworking that part of you. Here's a more likely explanation though: You're not getting specific results that you are wired to desire. For me, I never felt smart enough until I could feel comfortable talking with presidents, CEO's, professors etc, and be on the same level as them. Though simply listening to my thoughts and scientifically searching for the conditions that would lead them to happiness, I realized this was a problem.

Another thing was that I had a certain kind of woman in mind, but I could never see myself maintaining her. I read a lot of books, studied women, met a lot of brilliant people, and finally I feel like I can be a good father and attract a good mate, and that feeling went away.

The point is that your brain is seeking certain conditions. I don't actually have to be smarter than Obama, I just have to feel like I can hold my own against him, that's the condition my brain wanted. I want to hold the best possible ideas that will contribute the most benefit to other people, I don't want to be delusional either. I have to find ways to meet these conditions. I could just try and trick myself into feeling like they've been met, but the brain is pretty good at constantly testing reality so you won't be happy with that, no sir.

You've got to explore what your brain is telling you it wants. Am I right? Should I be a psychologist? lol



I think it's because you're always seeking the approval of others. But no matter how much anyone achieves, not everyone will approve.

Maybe you can try setting aside the time to pursue something you really want to do. Even though your endeavors may not have perfect results, it's not going to matter to other people because it's your personal project. If you keep on doing the things you love to do, eventually you may not care what others think.



me2:u2?



I've always thought that the most dangerous thing a person can do, mentally, is to compare himself to others. There is no good outcome here.

You are bordering on being a braggart, and yet you ironically feel inferior. This is all the unhealthy imaginings of your mind (for one thing, anyone who would join Mensa is quite suspect IMO).

Give it up. Relax, Forget about it and be yourself. You're never going to be the smartest or the dumbest person on the planet, and even if you were nobody would recognize it.




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