Fellow autistics, or even "normal" people, advice please?!

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Normal people are weird. lol they rather just have you close to them and asking them how they feel even though you already know that they feel like $hit they still like when you ask rather then buying something you know they will like that will actually make them feel better to show that you care. That always confused me. Then again I am an Aspie so I don't get most social things.

It's not a bad thing to say, but most "normal" people will find a text, e-mail or even phone call too impersonal at times of emotion and stress.
Actual physical presence, and physical contact, ( a good hug) tends to be far more valuable and reassuring.

If she really needs *you* to be *there* it may be time to gas up the car and go (how far?) even if that is outside your comfort zone.
That's what we do for real friends, and it's OK to ask real friends if they will do that for us, on rare occasions when that's really what's needed.

I have Asperger's.

I would say being there is the most important. Your presence may be enough for her.

. I don't think there is set rules or things to say. Whatever feels right and I would just try to speak as nicely and friendly as possible. I think a lot is said through tones and actions as well as words. If she needs space, give her space. If she needs a hug, give her a hug. :)

Gas thing, can you borrow from a parent, friend, etc? Or have money laying around?

Finally if you are wondering what exact words, maybe say it in your head a few times to yourself, not out-loud. Then think about if someone said it to you at this time and how it would make you feel.

have aspergers/semi normal :)

You texted back "if theres anything you need to call or text you". SHE DID. and she asked you to come up there. Get some money fill up your tank and go up there. People who are hurting, more than words, candy or flowers, just need people around them who care. You dont have to worry anout trying to find the right thing to say. Just go up there and say, hey I'm here. And maybe hug her and hold her hand. Just be with her. watch tv. just get there. she literally told you all she wanted. You to be there. Dont be selfish or lazy, this is what being a friend is. Go get er. And let me know how it turns out.

Sarah, what you said was good. You might also want to tell her that you are really sorry to hear about her grandmother. You can also tell her (if you are a Christian) that you will pray for her and her grandmother. Peace to you, Sarah.

Im an aspie :) well i think just saying that you are there for them if they need anything is good.

I'm "normal" and that is just what I would say.

borrow money for the gas