How do I fix my self-esteem and sadness problem?!


Question: How do I fix my self-esteem and sadness problem?
Well.. I have a really low self-esteem. I don't like the way I look even though my boyfriend and other people beg to differ. I have a fear of gaining weight and I know I am. When I eat, I feel like a failure but I don't starve myself or throw it up or anything.. so it just makes me paranoid. Because of what happened to me in the past with ex-boyfriends, I'm like.. scarred. I keep thinking my current boyfriend will leave me because that's just what I'm used to and that just makes me sad. I think about that at least once or twice a day. I hate my family life because of the divorce and all this other crap. I don't get along with my mother at all. I feel like I'm just ugly, weird, bad luck, a failure.. and everything and I just don't know how to cheer up or make myself feel worth something. No matter how hard I try, it seems like I fall flat on my face. I don't have the motivation to do anything anymore. I quit soccer.. which I regret a lot but I just don't have the energy for it anymore. I wake up at least five times a night and I hate it. I'll randomly get sad.. and I dunno. I just want to know what's wrong with me or how I can cheer up to at least appease people more or something. Help? Any suggestions about improving self-esteem or depression (if that's even what I "have")?

Answers:

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Nearly everyone has negative thoughts sometimes. Negative thoughts often occur before negative emotions. It's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, etc., by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Use the "Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts" - When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind.

After identifying and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version.

Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method. Try replacing a negative thought with a positive affirmation of your choice, like: "I am a unique individual, with my own set of skills, and good points", or "I may not be perfect, but I'm doing the best I can, right now". Recommended reading: Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive by Barbara Fredrickson, & Negaholics: How to Overcome Negativity and Turn Your Life Around by Chérie Carter-Scott, from your bookstore, or amazon.com

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has one about stopping negative thoughts.

View http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_2… about self esteem. Depression; see pages 3, & B. Check out page G about BDD.

SLEEPWAKING:
If you awaken regularly during the night, it may be caused by having nightmares, the memories of which are sometimes repressed, as with the high proportion of people who don't remember their dreams. If you feel agitated on awakening, such may well be the cause. There is specialist treatment available through http://www.sleepwakesfl.com/ or at your nearest sleeping disorders clinic.

Overall, the single most comprehensive website on sleep disorders that I have encountered is http://www.sleepdisordersguide.com/



Well I am like you too but I come from an incestuous family; molested, harrassed by brothers and father and mother. I have depression. I only have 1 close friend. I'm very isolated. I have had depression for as long as I might remember and social phobia. Sometimes everything seems hopeless and I feel utterly wretched and unloveable because I am a loser and have a stigma, an ugly stigma in my life. I have also had body dysmorphic disorder.




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