PLEASE HELP ME?! I feel so lost and abandoned.?!


Question: PLEASE HELP ME?! I feel so lost and abandoned.?
My family does not understand me, all they do is yell at me when I have a problem rather than help me. My "friends" are never there for me. They don't listen, nor do they care. I bend over backwards to be the person I can be, I am always there for my friends, I am a good daughter. I study and work hard, I get good grades and do the best I can, I have never touched drugs and don't ever plan to. I am a sophomore in high school and have not dropped out. These are all HUGE accomplishments for my family because they are dysfunctional. By my age they were all losers. Yet I am a constant disappointment to them all... why? ............... I have no role model, no one to look up to. I have bipolar disorder and can sometimes be a bit crazy because of it. I try to control my highs and lows as best as I can, seeing as how I cannot afford medication or therapy of any kind. I do everything I can for my friends and give without asking, they are never once there for me. I try to always be happy, and grateful, and optimistic.... it isn't good enough. I have no boyfriend, nor have I ever had one, because I am a "Loser" and a "Nerd" and a "Freak." No one is willing to lower their standards enough to date me. I am completely unloved. I try talking to my friends and family and they just avoid/ignore me when I tell them my problems. None of them realize just how serious I am, and how close to the brink I am, I have come close to suicide many times and used to cut myself... none of them care. I pray, and read the Bible, and try to help myself, yet God never answers my prayers, no matter how desperate I am.... Never answers me... my greatest fear is abandonment, because recently I was hurt deeply by someone I cared about very much, they became popular and cut me out of their life completely and suddenly for no reason at all. I feel so unloved by all, and I want to know why... Why does everyone abuse me and hate me?! Did I do something wrong? I often feel like these things are my fault, and I have extreamely low self-esteem. Am I being punished?! Will somebody please help me?! :' (

Answers:

I'm sorry you're going through this. No one deserves that kind of treatment. Your friends don't really sound like friends if they won't listen to you. I really think you should talk to the school counsellor so you have SOMEONE to listen to you. I don't know you but I love you like a sister (i'm very religious) and I know God and Jesus love you. I think your family loves you but maybe because they're so dis-functional they don't know how to express it. I hope life will get better for you and you will find people in your life who can show you the light. Keep praying and reading the Bible. I'll be praying too...

I'm sorry I just read over this and it sounds like i'm a total sap.... I'm sorry =/ It's really how I feel. Like I said, i'm very religious and I feel that religion is always a part of the answer.

Also, you're not being punished. You've done nothing wrong. We were sent to earth to learn pain and grow stronger from it.



hi i have the same situation cept without bipolar and it may sound strange but i recommend tryin to be yourself, kick out against the establishment, why shud they tell you wat you can and cant do, why shud they tell you that your a dissapointment???
they shudnt



You should be on your parents' health insurance and need to be properly evaluated by a psychiatrist.
BiPolar is a chemical imbalance and requires medication.
i think with treatment you will feel much better.

24 years psychiatric nursing



They are projecting their own inadequacies and disappointments onto you. Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-… or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody… or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (no flexibility required) at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_1… (see pages 1, & C about bipolar disorder, teen resources; page 2; websites for females on page E; also read pages A, & 10; use what helps; disregard info on sexual abuse). Qi Gong, Tai Chi, or regular yoga suits others better. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. Use the searchbar at www.mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists", or www.tapping.com (13 free videos) Professional is best. - There is a version for use in public places, (if you want to, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I currently have low self esteem, I deeply and completely accept myself." I have recently encountered the opinion that, just as it is important to build a house on a solid foundation, so it is with self esteem. Learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, and failures, or inadequacies. Accept that you, too are just a human being, with the frailties, insecurities, and tendency to err, occasionally, that the rest of us have. That is the beginning of self love, self acceptance, and self esteem. Regularly monitor your internal monologue (self talk): write down the negative ones: "I'm really ugly" and then the converse: "I'm fairly good looking", and next time you become aware that you are thinking the former, visualise, as vividly as possible, a big "STOP!!!" sign, and/or a stern faced person wagging a finger at you, and deliberately repeat 5 times, either aloud, in a big voice, if alone, or subvocally (to yourself, in your mind), the converse affirmation.

Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I... (insert activity here).." Google: "volunteer from home" More details about volunteering are on page B at 8m.com. Make a list of all your good points, strengths, and achievements. Put it somewhere so you can easily refer to it, from time to time; perhaps on the refrigerator door, or print it; (large typeface, or capitalise) have it framed, and place in your bedroom, or in a position of prominence, such as on the television, or lounge room wall.

See http://www.wikihow.com SELF ESTEEM. Read: The Self-Esteem Guided Journal: A Ten Week Program (New Harbinger Guided Journal) by Matthew McKay and Catharine Sutker, & Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame by Beverly Engel & Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning & Happy to Be Me!: A Kid Book about Self-Esteem, by Christine Adams, Robert J. Butch, and R. W. Alley, from your bookstore, or Amazon.com. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines may be found on page 1, at 8m.com about self esteem. Learn distress tolerance techniques. God helps those who help themselves; the above may well set you on the right path.



I'm actually going through a similar situiation myself. I am very religious (i'm not trying to convert you or anything) and it has helped me a lot. God is always watching and he knows your struggling and you just need to be patient. I myself have actually thought of suicide many times, i found this article online and i hope it will help you out because its helped me out A LOT.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html



This could be a sign of MDD and or mixed feelings. I would suggest you talk to someone about your problem and how you feel. If your parents can help, ask them too help you find a counselor or someone to talk too. go online and do some Research about some places that can help. I also would recommend you listen to KSBJ. 89.3 that station can lift up your spirit and feel happy. I wish you well.



hi :)
im EXACTLY the ame except i dont have bipolar disorder (sorry about that)
first of all i just wanna ay you're not alone and i have a "life" just like yours. im 14, female. my dad ha already disowned me (says he doesnt want me to be his daughter or be known by hi name or anything), my mum cant do anything about that because she has no control/power over what he does. he uses her and me and my siblings as slaves for himself. blames everything on us when he' the problem most the time. he is EXTREMELY sexist (worse than people were in 1800s), racist (we come from a muslim family and if anyone says something dlightly racist mean to him, he get mad and fights but he's racist ALL the tim), he's a hypocrite and judgemental. he's your wort nightmare and no one can do anything about it. he abuses us verbally, physically and emotionally. i hate him with a deep passion.
my "friends" dont listen to me when i have a problem. when they however have a SLIGHT problem, i help them the best way i can and give them things without being a B-tch about it. they talk about me behind my back and go through my stuff and one time even stole a peice of school work from me. i pretended i didnt even know. i try so hard to be greatful. and im the same, i had this good friend but then she got popular (and you know the story). i also have to pretend to be someone im not to fit in and it makes me mad. to the, im known as the carefree, smiley and happy one when i am not and they know NOTHING about what goes on at home. "friends" eh?

my dad has already planned out my life for me and is planning on forcing into marriage, if i refuse he will LITERALLY kill me (he is capable of this) and he will pretty much do anything to make my life a misery. atleast you can move out when you're 18 ...... im stuck like this till the day i die which may come soon if i think seriously about suicide.

anyway about you, just have to go thorugh it i guess. try your bestest to be grateful and smile a little from time to time :). prove your family and anyone who doubted you wrong. keepe up the good work at school and be determined to get through it. if you keep this up i PROMISE you will have a bright future ahead of you. and im trying to do the same so youre not as alone as you think you are ;)
ignore anything people say about you - im in high school and stuff happens. i got lies spread about me SO MUCH and i have never had a bf either ........ because im one of the losers and a nerd and im the target always to be made fun of :'(
but i try my best to ignore this and its kind of working.
*i have this idea, im going to try and keep a journal and write down anything that happens and how i feel. then i will try and turn it into a novel and i'll have myself a book and can benefit from the sh-t ive gone thorugh. try doing this too!*

and i try turning my focus onto other things. like i listen to music A LOT, i daydream A LOT too lol and i write poems and creative writing. i have no role model and no one to look up to either so i chose someone i dont even know. (there's this film called "Precious" it's REALLY good - its about this black girl who is overweight and not much of a looker. she is abused at home, at school and she's not smart at all. she gets raped by her dad and for this, her mum hates her for that and makes her eat even when she's not hungary until she is very overweight. and of course, kids at school will make fun of her. she has 2 kids from her dad and has no friends whatsoever to rely on and goes through it. its a really good film watch it:)

anyway, i hope i helped and i feel the same as you
you can e-mail me if you like and we can compare problems lol
sorry i wrote so much .... needed the rant lol
good luck <3




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