How do i help my addicted boyfriend quit his video games?!
Question: How do i help my addicted boyfriend quit his video games?
addict. I've been with him 3 years and his addiction didn't get bad until he
moved back in with his mother (for her health). I'm 18 years old. He's 19. My boyfriend
can spend almost 20 hours a day playing video games when he has the chance. He
doesn't notice when i try to get his attention "late at night" unless HE'S in
the mood. He doesn't come out of his room very often while playing so i bring
his food to him. The only time he leaves is to go to the bathroom or when i tell
him to go take a shower. When we go over to a friends house, he brings his PS3
with him so he can play there. If he's away from the game system, he spends
hours looking up prices of games, game reviews, new games on shelves. Just today
he got mad at me for not lending him a game from my house (that belongs to my
brother) that he wants to play. He doesn't see that he has a problem but i'm
worried about him. I'm not going to leave him. I love him and I can't stand the
thought of losing him. What should i do? Please help me.
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
As with all addictions, unless and until HE admits to having a problem and seriously wanting to get help--there is nothing you can do to stop him.
What you CAN do is NOT help the addiction. Do not bring him food--nor any games, etc--nor lend any $$ or do anything to make his addictive game playing ANY easier.
If you really love him, you want him to be healthy and happy.
Who pays for these games? His mom? Who pays for the internet hookup? Mom?
She needs to cancel it all. it is poison for him and he will not quit until he is ready to.
Mom and you need to make his addiction harder for him to do.
Go out and live your life--don't be so available to him.
he needs to grow up and become responsible for what he is doing
24 years psychiatric nursing
Welcome to the world of men..And video games.
Try playing with him once in a while!
He will love you for this.
My girlfriend plays blackops with me sometimes, i think its freakin awesome.
But honestly,
If he is paying more attention to the games than you, something is wrong :/
Ask him to hang out more!
Maybe he will..
I know how you feel though.
Good luck!!
You can't. He has to want to quit. Stop taking food to him, that is just ridiculous. In fact stop going to his house at all, it will be days before he notices. He has changed from the person you first knew. Move on. Don't waste your youth on this zombie. You have lost him already.
Hes a normal dude. Most guys are like that. Me too but if i had a girlfriend id go with you in a heartbeat. Tell him what's the point of playing? You dont get anything out of it. Tell him he will become blind. Call him a lowlife or a nerd. Maybe he'll stop. Thats what gets me to stop.
sell all of his games and stuff on ebay.
20 hours a day? Dump that guy he has nothing to promise you in the future. I'm not a gold digger but there's nothing wrong with wanting a real future. Maybe he'll realise just how ridiculous he's being and quit playing games on his own after he loses you. Don't bring him his food that's outrageous he should get off his lazy a** and get his own food.
I know you love him but there are plenty of guys out there and maybe if you leave him for a while he will take notice and realise he needs to change.
While your relationship with your boyfriend may be wonderful normally, etc, the fact that he ignores you to engage in video games is a warning sign. Many people engage in online play, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if it is impacting your personal relationship then it is something that definitely needs to be looked at. Talk to him and find out if there is something that he is getting from his online life that he just isn't getting from your relationship. See if there's something that he's missing from his 'real' life. Often, it isn't so much a relationship issue, as a life-issue. Lack of job. Lack of focus. Lack of purpose, lack of confidence, lack of self-respect.
Nothing that you, personally, are responsible for. But perhaps you could point him to things that could help him. Yes some people will call him a loser, or urge you to ditch him. But if you are so very set on being with him, then there are things that you can look into. Don't discount the possibility that maybe life would be better if you went forward without being tied to him, but if you truly want to help him them maybe it's time to find something else to focus his attention on. Sports (participatory, not spectator), or politics, or any number of non-gamer things that you can try to involve him in that would include you. Economics, entrepreneurial pursuits, or even a good game of Rummy or Uno.
Otherwise, your choices are limited to a) leaving him, b) joining him in his gaming journey (not a horrible fate, but time-consuming), or c) simply dealing with a man that spends more time online than he does with you. Please take it from me, that option C will make you miserable. You may come to an accommodation for a time, but it is temporary. Usually, problems of this nature grow until the people involved cannot come to an agreement and must separate. Not always, but often enough that one person will usually feel left out and lonely as a general basis. If you do not want to be in this position, then either fix the issue or get out. As much as it might hurt, it really is the best thing you can do for your situation. Take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy, whether it's with him or not.