I've become a nihilist. Help me?!
Question: I've become a nihilist. Help me?
I've realized nothing matters. I always joked about it/half-knew it in the back of my head, but now it's painfully apparent. Everything we know is just something that's been socially constructed. How we define ourselves, how we express ourselves, how we live and how we think are all things that were taught to us by a system completely made up by our species. With respect to the rest of the universe, nothing we've ever learned is reality. Society is a form of self-denial at a gigantic size; laws and government and taboos and finance and values and morality are all social constructs we fabricated in order to define a way to live.
My personality keeps me obsessed with the idea of constantly being original. However, I have now realized that desire is impossible. Humans are not capable of originality anymore. Everything we know we were taught (directly or indirectly). I could create a beautiful painting unlike any in the world and it still wouldn't be original. I realize now that focusing on the piece itself is too specific and close-minded; I know see all of it as part of a category called "art" and this "art" is something we invented in order to satisfy the needs of "culture", which is also completely man-made. There is no such thing as culture in actual reality. There is no such thing as art or jobs or love outside of our socially constructed illusion of the universe. Even these words I'm using now are words solely relative to the human condition. Words themselves aren't even universal! We invented emotion and expression and my desires are all fabrications. Nothing I know carries any weight. But then again--what is significance? We created the need to find meaning, too. Meaning and, consequently, meaninglessness, don't exist. Everything I just said and how I said it doesn't actually exist. The entire world and the way it works is an illusion, not a reality.
Yahoo answers is so bizarre to me, too. It's this tool we created to help us understand the world we've created for our comfort. It's not anymore natural than anything else we've come to familiarize ourselves with.
As you can see, I am having difficulties with existence. Over the last few days I've been suddenly hit in the face with this realization. Nothing seems familiar anymore; my college classes seem silly, people's have become 100% subjective in my eyes. Normal routines now seem bizarre and questionable to me. I have become miserable because I can't make peace with the fact that anything I do is, essentially, fake.
I've read a bit about some eastern philosophies and how this realization is supposedly incredibly valuable: you need to detach yourself from all objects and feelings before being able to achieve nirvana or become one or whatever the **** it is we're supposed to want. I've tried to meditate and clear my head but I constantly think about how meditation is a social construct and how religion and philosophy and every piece of advice I could ever get all comes from the same machine that spouts out illusions or reality and normality and it would be impossible to find something genuinely unbiased. I want to be at peace with this sudden detachment, but to be honest, it's just made me more restless.
I have a girlfriend. But now I question love--the bond people share seems to me just excessive familiarizing. If you're with someone for long enough your piece and their piece start to mold together and you get used to that way of living. Is that love? What about compassion? What's the point of compassion? Morality is complete bullshit. "Good" and "bad" are social constructs. There is no such thing as an evil action.
I could go on forever but I didn't open this question to have unanswerable questions be answered. I've played with the idea of suicide more than once--not because I'm a mopey, dramatic sob, but because what really warrants living? What's the point of giving it my all if no matter what I give and whom I give it to it's just another illusion of success (which is ANOTHER concept we made up...you see the problem I'm having here..)?
I don't need someone to talk me out of whacking myself. I'm not looking for handouts, either. I just wanted to see if anybody else relates to the frustration I've been having. Is anybody else in this situation? Does anyone else relate? Have you found a way out of it?
I could never just ignore this now. I figure my best bet would be meditation and eastern philosophy as it relates as closely as I can get PLUS it has a positive outcome (even though there is no positive or negative either...but you get what I mean). I can't get the hang of meditating yet, I find it to be another silly social construct.
Answers:
I was very close of heading down that road. I ask a very similar question on here.
I've ask if suicide is the often rational choice by a sane person.
And this guy gave a good answer to it.
"By realizing certainty is a dead end and not possible or something that you'd want to strive for. Employ negative capability."
Nietzsche warned us about this, he believed that traditional, existing moralities would inevitably be destroyed, and that the consequence of this would be nihilism unless we replace them with something better.
Dude I'm high and I feel the same way like what if I'm crazy and even created whatever you are and these words and who you knew as Andrew
The problem is that you've only got half the equation. What you say holds a lot of truth but the idea that everything is a social construct is only a construct itself.
You can recognize the constructed nature of what we mistake for reality but you still hold on to the idea that this constructed reality is all encompassing. You are on the right track though because meditation is the only way to find out what sits behind all these conditionings and mental conceptions of ourselves and the world.
There is no call to despair over what you have realized. You have simply understood conceptually what is false. Meditation will allow you to see that directly in your own consciousness and to experience the underlying essence of yourself as you are without all those false attachments, conditionings and conceptions. Depending on your desire and perseverance it is possible to come to the essential part of yourself where you experience what it is that you are at your most fundamental and the connection this essence has to all other people and to the universal consciousness that pervades everything. This is also the true understanding of love. I sincerely hope you find it. You seem like you're ready.
http://www.freemeditation.com/
Nihilism has been given a bad rep by its own followers. You can indulge in the social constructs without believing in them. Never mind being called a hypocrite, everybody commits hypocrisy in one way or another.
I'm a moral nihilist.
You are very detached from feelings and objects and everything already and I wouldn't call what you are going through nirvana, would you? So if detaching doesn't work, then as silly and pointless as it may seem, try the opposite. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing expecting something different. I know that prob doesnt mean much to you right now. So why don't you at least give yourself a week or two to try to enjoy people and things. If you used to love a song then just listen to it and try to enjoy it. and if you used to feel kind things toward your girlfriend or whoever then try to think about that and do something nice for that person. People are "programed" to enjoy helping others. (Why do you think Yahoo Answers is so popular?) I hope this helps. Also if you are jaded on religion, then why don't you just ask God out loud,(privately so people aren't like 'what the..?') who he is and if he would help you find out what you need to know and feel what you need to feel and be who you need to be? I mean if God's real and he made everything wouldn't it make sense that he would hear you and answer if he is kind? I guess the question for you is, is it worth a try?