Do I have a mental disorder?!

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If you're really as serious as you claim about a diagnosis, you're at the wrong source to find it. Even a doctor couldn't give you a dependable diagnosis based on a paragraph of so of text, and no doctor worth the name would even try. You do sound like you need help, but you also need it for a dependable diagnosis. So find a psychiatrist or psychologist, let them examine and interview you, and provide you with a psychiatric evaluation. Then you'll have a diagnosis you can at least begin to put some degree of confidence in. Otherwise, you're just wasting your time. If what you really want is just to hear someone say something reassuring about you, then frame the question that way. Be honest about what you really want. And if it is the psychiatric diagnosis, then go to the professionals that are trained and authorized to provide them; psychiatrists and psychologists.

BA Psychology and various.

Whenever you suggest something to your psychologist, he/she will be analyzing your need to come to them with a diagnosis rather than taking your diagnosis. Do not try to control everything, you are adding extra stress to your situation... relax, trust and allow your psychologist to help you.

yes

you don't go to a psychologist with a diagnosis THEY assess you and tell you what mental disorder you have, not the other way round!

There is nothing wrong with you medically speaking. You definitely support the behavior of a psycho and Narcissist. But you lack one key symptom. You still have a conscious. You disregard it alot but you have one. I would say that your anger is what is causing it. The question is why are you angry?

Anger, paranoia, homicidal tendencies, and all that usually stem from a mixture of things. Could be your hiding something that eats you up inside, could be that you were abandoned and have difficulty connecting, it could be many things.

But your not crazy, worst case scenario you may have some narcissistic tendencies. And that isnt a mental illness. Its just a personality trait meaning your very selfish and care very little for the welfare of anyone but you.

You depict someone with Borderline Split Personality Disorder. But I dont think you have that based off of the consistency. If you were borderline you probably would go from loving to hating, not just hating.

You need to figure out what is making you angry, why you feel threatened and then sit down with your parents and address the issue.

Your looking for excuses and things to blame for your behavior, that your ill, or to blame someone else. Frankly thats a load of crap. Your an intelligent human being who is responsible for your actions and if you are acting like this then you need to address the issue not look for excuses.

Trust me, I am not that old. Im 22. Im not your parents was angry at your age too. And I thought I had great reason to be. Just finally realized it didnt matter. Wasnt ever gonna fix it.

If you need any advice hit me up. justinpowell1988@gmail.com

There are no "tests" that can determine if you have a mental illnesses. Only an open and honest discussion with a licensed mental health provider can lead to a diagnosis. What you've described are only experiences. We don't know your family history or what incidents you might have experienced during childhood that could have turned into this.

And past experiences are important here, as it does not sound like a mood disorder, but a personality disorder. Or you're just a jerk.

you can only help yourself. all those urges i think that you feel like wanting to kill others and whatever are normal, whether you actually do them is on you completely though. i would say try to get on some kind of anxiety medication because i kind of have the same problem as you but am older and therefore manage it better but just don't hurt anybody physically thats the one thing you can do right because people take that personal and ****. dont hurt your parents just yell at them or dont yell at all. but i would def get on medication, not saying you need it, but it does help.