How do i keep a boyfriend when i have SAD?!
Question: How do i keep a boyfriend when i have SAD?
i'm REAL nervous around him but i really force myself to be loud and everything. (i'm more afraid of looking like a too-shy freak than looking like an idiot--so i dont have any problems talking to him)
I have a feeling he's going to ask me out soon...but i'm really nervous about keeping him as my boyfriend.
My ex dumped me because i was social phobic and i dont want that to happen with this guy.
I know that i can be normal around him if i really force myself to and my SAD is getting better little by little...but i'm still afraid of rejection. I'm afraid that'll i'll be overprotective of myself and mess things up again.
help please? :/
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Put it this way... if they dump you for having social anxiety, then they are not the right person for you because they haven't accepted you for who you are. The right person will be supportive.
When you are ready, tell him you have social anxiety, either before or after he asks you out. Don't be someone you're not, introverted people are just as interesting as extroverted people. You want someone to be with you because of who YOU are.
The right partner will like you for who you are and won't want you to change the core person that you are. They will not reject you for having social anxiety or for talking about it, they will be understanding and probably want to help in somehow to see you recover. Someone who looks down on you for having it, etc, is not compatible with you anyway. Don't be afraid to move on, remember you're better off being single than being with the wrong person. Keep going until you find the right one. :)
In the meantime, continue trying to overcome social anxiety. This is exactly what I did to overcome it: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/foru…
Good luck!
I had severe social anxiety for 16 years (have now overcome it). Had a boyfriend during that time, have a better one now! :D
If you have a conditon that stops you from having a good relationship, at all costs, don't be afraid to say no. It's your decision if you want to be in a relationship with this guy. And never try to be a different person than who you already are. You also don't want your relationship to be stressful in any way. I say wait until you feel ready. And don't feel afraid to tell him what you are going through, and why you aren't ready to date. I say stay friends for now!
the right guy for you will accept you with your weaknesses. The important thing for you is to take things slow and get to know each other well before investing too much of your heart in one person. And don't worry if he will accept you, maybe you will learn things about him and not even like him.
then just be 'normal... im not sure what youre expecting people to say?