Why do I feel so worthless sometimes?!
Question: Why do I feel so worthless sometimes?
I feel like my emotions are very unstable. One minute I can be in a great mood and loving life, then if someone says something to me that makes me sound selfish or obnoxious etc, then I suddenly feel worthless and I go into a depressed mood for the next couple of days.
I'll tell you about myself, and then you can tell me if I should be feeling like a worthless human being or not....
I see myself as an incredibly selfish and greedy person. I like to have things all to myself and feel reluctant to share (especially when it comes to food). Whenever I get something expensive from my parents, even though I thank them, I don't sound grateful to them even though I am. Looking at my bedroom, I have a 32" plasma TV, 2 laptops (old one and new one), an air conditioner and hundreds of DVD's. Then I think, do I really deserve this stuff??
I don't really contribute to society. I feel like I'm taking, but not giving back. I do have a job, but I hate that, and I don't like my customers and workmates and I want to quit. There are people out there whose lives are tougher than mine, yet I am still complaining that I have to work (and it's only 1 day a week!!!).
Everything I have, I feel like I shouldn't have them. I often think that the things I own would be better off with somebody else. I feel the food I eat and the water I drink should be given to someone more worthy. My mum doesn't know what to buy me when it comes to food because I can never decide what I want to eat, then I start whinging if we don't have anything good and mum gets frustrated.
My mum complains about her life here and everyday she says she just wants to leave. I think I am making life hard for her. Even though my family love me, I can't help but feel they really don't and they just pretend they do. I've tried running away, and have even thought about suicide, thinking it would make life for my family so much easier if I was not around.
I don't have a best friend, but I do have a couple of friends. I wonder why they actually want to be my friend. But I rarely actually hang out with any friends and I don't often hear from them.
What I really hate most about myself is that I am a hypocrite, and I know it! I want to change that but I just can't. I hate selfish, arrogant and greedy people, but I am one.
Now for the good things.... I am incredibly friendly and I hate to see people feel sad and alone. In Year 12 I was voted as the friendliest person in the year level! I received an award.
I like to make people feel good about themselves, and I feel happy when people experience something awesome that I know about. I try to make people laugh when they are down or just for no reason. I also feel happy to buy things for people and I feel really bad if someone wastes their money on me if they get something I don't want, so I get something for them in return.
So I tend to want to make others feel happy rather than make myself feel happy.
Soooo in conclusion, do you agree with me that I am a worthless person? Or is there hope for me? Should I even own anything I have? What can I do to change the way I am???
I hate the person I am and I am losing hope of ever changing.
Don't you just hate these annoying problems threads? Lol :P
Answers:
Well I seriously hope you weren't expecting someone to actually write your worthless, and if someone does, well they're just being mean. xD. You might have depression, it can happen to anyone, no matter how good their life is. Sometimes helping others helps. When I'm on here answering people's questions I feel much better. Maybe organise a fundraiser, get out of your home, go for walks! Walks have been scientifically proven to make you happier.
Think of the more unfortunate people in this world and how you can help them! Whenever you feel negative thoughts coming up in your mind.. distract yourself and do something you like. If you have been blessed with what you have cherish it.. or sell some stuff for charity :D
Experience.. I hope it helps.
You would benefit from therapy. And, possibly prescription medication. You may be bipolar. At the very least, therapy would help you learn to cope by discussing these issues with a professional. You have extreme low self-esteem, and need to learn how to cope with criticism like a normal person, and not be so overly sensitive.
you need to make an appointment with a physcotherapist. this is deffinately a mix of bipolar depression and maybe even anxiety. the good thing is you can admit it to yourself. you are not worthless at all.
You're a drama queen. Start working more if you want to benefit society and if you have too much stuff that you do not deserve sell it and donate the money to someone who does, or keep it, greed can be very beneficial to people and you should consider developing some.