What should i do if i think my husband has PTSD?!
Question: What should i do if i think my husband has PTSD?
He did have some anger issues and it was one of the reasons we had separated. He did speak to a psychologist and i noticed a change in him. He wasnt as angry, he managed it better, he was able to talk more openly with me, it seemed he had gotten better ( which is why i decided to give things another chance). Its been a couple months since he's been back from the last deployment and he has gone back to his old ways. Drinking a lot, he gets mad at me for no reason or for very small things, he wont even really talk to me sometimes. I know he is not himself right now, i think he may need to go back to counseling. He thinks we will never be able to work things out and that he is meant to be alone as long as he is in the military because it has changed him and made him a cold-hearted person. I have suggested that we go to marriage couseling to work on our communication issues but he doesnt want to.
Is it possible he has PTSD? I have asked him if wants to talk about his experiences over there and he always says no. I dont know if he has nightmares or flashbacks or any kind. The only things i noticed are what i mentioned above (the drinking, getting angry, lack of communication) and what he has told me he feels (inability to communicate, loss of interest in things, feeling he's better off alone). I dont really want a divorce because i feel like its something we can work through with the right help, I still love him and i know he loves me. He will be leaving in a few months and i know he will not seek help before he leaves. Should I try to help him get better or is just easier to walk away from the situation and get divorced?
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
You should be familiar with the family support groups at your base. Get in touch with them to get advice. Each unit normally has chaplains assigned. I am sure they are very well versed in these matters.
Even if your situation ends in divorce, I do admire your determination to make things better.
PTSD can get very complicated. No easy fix.
I have been in a war zone and have experienced many things. What I have experienced may seem minor compared to experiences of other men and women in the service.
We are all members of military family. I wish you and your husband well.
DIVORCE
There is a quiz for the presence of P.T.S.D., via http://psychcentral.com Some of the symptoms include "flashbacks", hypervigilance, sleep disorders, especially nightmares, and just staring blankly. View the http://1-800-therapist.com/ & http://www.metanoia.org/choose/ websites, and Google:"therapists; EMDR; (your location)" or use the phone book, and/or various associations for psychiatrists and psychologists, to find the nearest one using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy). In EMDR, a therapist will ask you to revisit a traumatic event and remember the feelings, negative thoughts, or memories associated with it. While you are doing this, the therapist may hold up two fingers about eighteen inches from your face and move them from side to side. You may be asked to track the movement of the therapist’s fingers with your eyes. As you concentrate on the traumatic event during therapy, you are trying to bring its memory to life. The mental imagery you are able to conjure up during the therapy session is then processed, aided by your eye movements, facilitating the processing of painful memories, enabling some of the powerful emotional states involved to be discharged to some degree, and helping to achieve resolution and a state involving less painful emotions.
EMDR has 8 stages. Professional EMDR is always much preferable. It can be completely cured. Sometimes, a beta blocker, such as propranolol, or atenolol is administered prior to being asked to recount the traumatic event, reducing the emotional charge associated with it, as it is re-recorded in your memory (which has been shown to be plastic, at least to some extent, with many people). I suggest trying something milder, such as valerian, (some people get "valerian hangovers") or "Tension Tamer", or chamomile herbal tea (no milk, or cream!) from supermarket tea, vitamin, or health food aisles, at least at first, to see if sufficient, otherwise (SHORT TERM ONLY, as a risk minimisation strategy - potentially ADDICTIVE) a benzodiazapene, like Xanax. Check out medications first at: www.drugs.com and www.rxlist.com/ If unable to afford it, or to locate one nearby, contact the county/local mental health agency: any therapy on offer may prove helpful, particularly if combined with appropriate medication. Contact your county/local mental health agency, and find out what help they can offer. (U.S.A.) Try phoning 211, or 411, and Google: "clinics; mhmr; (your city); (your state)" Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. Use the searchbar at www.mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists" and/or see the 13 free videos at www.tapping.com & http://www.emofree.com/freevideos.aspx for PTSD.
There is a version for use in public places, (if anyone asks, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I suffer from PTSD, I deeply and completely accept myself.". Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is also recommended, and has been used successfully, with PTSD. Some people, however, may benefit more from psychotherapy, or counselling, at least until they are some way along the path to wellness, and feeling psychologically robust enough for the harsher CBT (a free E course in it, which can help reduce the time spent in therapy sessions, is at: http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome ). Use a relaxation method daily, like http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-… or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody… or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Tai Chi, Qi Gong, or yoga. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines and much more is at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_1… about PTSD, where this came from; view it; another possibility is depression; (likely) view pages 3, & B; there is a quiz. Anger management; (a symptom of depression, as is anhedonia) see pages 1, & S.
Go to these sites and watch the videos and read the material together. Ask him to do it with you.
stressproject.org operationemotionalfreedom.com eftmastersworldwide.com eftuniverse.com click on 'get started free'
You should also look up/search 'Perez borderline instead of ptsd, benefits'
As long as they need to redeploy him, he may have ptsd, but they may not be willing to diagnose him with that, which would make him ineligible to redeploy, and eligible for disability payments.
He and you both sound like you need a safe place to talk about all this, and I know there are places to do that out of the watchful eye of the government.
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