Is this normal or should I get more help?!
Question: Is this normal or should I get more help?
In July 2008, my dad caught my best friend's brother molesting my nine year old brother. This freak went after my brother six or seven times, but the two times he got him I wasn't there. We shared a room and many nights he would have nightmares and talk about details of what had happened in his sleep. I became severely depressed, and when I tried to confide in my closest friends, they left me and I became suicidal.
This guy Greg at my high school inadvertantly found out something was seriously wrong and always encouraged me and tried his best to cheer me up, which was one of the big things that got me through that period okay. I kept getting better and almost entirely stopped talking to him. The last day I saw him I noticed there was something clearly wrong with him and debated whether or not to ask him if he was okay. I didn't and he killed himself a few weeks later.
This all happened from 08 summer to 09 summer. Every day since then all this stuff has been in my mind. When I'm around other people I'm fine but as soon as I'm alone I always think myself into more and more misery. I'm lucky to get 5 hours sleep because I can't get myself to stop thinking about this. I couldn't care less what happens to me now or in the future. I can't drink anymore because anytime I do I freak out about all this stuff, and the two times I did, I got kicked out of a baseball game and begged by my parents to take this semester off of college to get myself straightened out. I've seen three different counselors and it's always on my mind, and my brother who is now twelve has seen one and he's practically a okay.
Is this normal or should I see a doctor instead of a counselor?
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
From the armchair psychologist: My guess is you feel responsible for both incidences; that is, your brother's molestation and your friend's suicide. Had you "been there" for both of them, it wouldn't have happened.
Magical thinking, hon. That Molester Boy went after your brother was entirely his own choice. You didn't make that decision for him. You didn't collude with him on it. All he needed was opportunity, and he didn't care how it came. Those two times you weren't with your brother, neither were your parents; neither were MB's parents; neither was your own best friend, or it wouldn't have happened. None of it is the fault of any of you who weren't there. It is solely the fault of MB. (I hope his disgusting @ss is in jail, too.)
As for the guy who committed suicide, again, that was his choice. You weren't there handing him the means to kill himself. Several WEEKS before he killed himself, you happened to notice him and believed -- note I say "believed" -- "something clearly wrong" with him. Well, maybe it was clear to you, but maybe that wasn't the case at all. And if anything was wrong, it might have been as simple as him discovering his socks didn't match that day. The reasons people commit suicide are not simple, and often, no amount of reasoning gets through to them. If they really want to do it, they will. Again, all they need is opportunity. It's only in your own head that you "weren't there" for him. He didn't want you there, or he would have contacted you. I doubt he had a moment's thought about you.
I suspect that as long as you are with other people, you like knowing that they are OK as long as you can see them, and, perhaps, you have a sense that you are not alone in being "responsible." The moment you get alone, suddenly EVERYBODY is away from you, outside your power to protect them. Suddenly, your responsibility for them -- what them, who them? it doesn't matter; they're all your little brother and your friend, now -- overwhelms you because they are outside your sphere of influence.
Hon, you never had the power you think you had. You do not have the power to make people do what you would like them to, nor do you have the power to undo the nasty things other people do. You need, somehow to understand that with every fiber of your being. Getting drunk is not going to help you at all. If you still feel as if you need help, try counselor number 4. Only this time, be completely honest with him/her. Go with the intention of healing yourself, because the counselor can't do it for you, just as you couldn't completely protect your brother or your friend. Healing yourself is within your power alone. THAT you can do.
Good luck, sweetheart.
Yes go back and see a doctor. Explain that you've seen counsellors before but you are still having problems and see what they suggest.
BTW, to the answer above me :) I agree with u.
You probably should see a doctor because you may be suffering from a mental illness (post traumatic stress disorder, etc.)
you should probably see a doctor, because it can't hurt it can only help
Hey bro, it sounds like totally normal depression!
Your not mental or anything, it's just a really unlucky, and unfortunate chain of events you have gone through.
There might be prescription pills you can take to deal with the depression you have, but i would advise to consult a doctor about them LAST resort, as they can lead to a hell of other problems - like dependency.
My best advice would be to consolidate with your parents, and join some social activity/clubs. Like any sports you may like, etc. etc.
Meet some new people, and try and leave your memories of the 08 - 09 summer behind you as you socialise and meet new friends!
Keep at it, don't blame yourself for anything. It may sound harsh, but the worst thing you can do is feel sorry for yourself - you only get one sure life, so try and have a goodn' buddy.