How can i leave an abusive relationship?!

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

If you left for three weeks while you saw someone else, I doubt seriously if this is anything more than an relationship , bad for both of you, it sounds.
You can call around and find out what therapists deal with relationship problems, and go get the help you need.

x

First of all your not crazy. Maybe irrational but not crazy.

Second of all I think you answered your own question. You said you fear that you will be lonely if you break up with your boyfriend. Remember that you can get all your beautiful relationships with your family and friends back if you end the relationship. You will not be lonely.

We all feel insecure sometimes but you have to do what is right. Not what feels right.

Good luck.

It sounds very easy when they say it is up to you but you know it is truth... what you do not know is "how". Read yourself again and change relationship for whatever addiction you can think about: substance abuse, alcohol, over spending, etc... People with those kind of problems would sound just exactly the same.

What would you tell them? Which options would you offer them if they came to you asking how they could leave their addictions?

1) I'm not reading that f*cking novel

2) Just f*cking leave, shove a golf club in his *ss and f*cking leg it!

You are doing what every other abused person does, so you are not crazy. You rationalize being with him. You think that you can change him, or that you need him, or that he needs you. You feel that your love and loyalty for him is the most important. The reason for that is because you don't know what a healthy relationship is and you don't have a good sense of self (or self-esteem). You may also be afraid of what will happen if you leave him and he finds you.

You put up with what most other people would not put up with. This is due to issues which you need to work out with a counselor, therapist, or your religious minister in prayer. However, that takes time.

You don't listen to your family, and it is unlikely that you'll listen to me. This is because you feel dependent on him, and you are controlled by him in a unhealthy way. However, I just want you to pick up a phone, and call this hotline. Tell them your dilemma, that you hate being abused and isolated. You feel trapped and like a social outcast. But you are afraid of leaving him, and that he always finds you and convinces you to go back with him (or whatever the case is, just tell it like it is).

You will be incapable of a healthy relationship until you get past your old wounds in your heart. Once you learn to stand up on your own two feet, you'll be proud of yourself and you'll have your friends and family near you again (abusers deliberately isolate those they abuse to gain complete control). Good luck and God help you.

You are NOT alone. If you will only reach out, people will help you.

VVVVV taken from their website VVVVV
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http://www.thehotline.org/ (for the phone number)

*reaches over and gives Kat a big hug of understanding* dont feel sorry for opening up to ppl for help..i too just got out of an abusive relationship ...after 7 long years...the relationship ended Feb 3rd.( i finally got a TPO)..i have two kids and a lot of time on my hand and like u I have times when i feel alone and overwhelmed i think it is just a process of letting go ..and i know that feeling of loneliness when u are with him still..ur almost at the point in which u are really ready to let go ..it feels good not to be controlled and confused on how life should be anymore now that he is gone..i try to take things one day at a time because of the kids i have to take care of ..whatever u do dont.i repeat dont give up ..your depressed right now and calling out for help keep doing so ..but in the end its still all on you whether or not u really want to leave this guy ..sometimes you dont have the strength (or you believe you dont) or perhaps he black mails..manipulate his way back and and when you do run to others it is hard because they judge you ..dont let them hold you back..you might end up becoming a person who look in the mirror and who cant see themselves or identify yourself anymore..one again..dont let that hold you back..once you set your heart and mind to it ..you will find the strength..do give up ..sometimes it takes a lot of pain to find yourself and what you can become..hope you make it through from here one out...keep your head up girl ;)