Experiencing uncontrollable anger, panic attacks, mood-swings, loss of interest !
Question: Experiencing uncontrollable anger, panic attacks, mood-swings, loss of interest in life, suicidal thoughts?
--> Panic Attacks: I get a panic attack at least once a week, and even when I don't have them I seem to be worried and angry about every little thing. (Sometimes I even remember occurrences from my childhood and start feeling anxious)
--> Mood swings: I am extremely productive and I would say hyper throughout the summer and autumn. When winter comes, I lose all interest in life, and that's when my grades drop significantly because I can't get myself to put any effort into anything I do. I also experience suicidal thoughts a lot during this time.
--> Uncontrollable Anger: When something happens that makes me upset and angry, my body tenses up, hot tears start pouring out, and I feel like I can't breathe. I have this crazy urge to break and kill everything that is in my way, but when I try to control it, I end up hurting myself. I bite my arms, scratch, bang my head against sharp edges. This is also when I am convinced that the best way to get out of this state is by killing myself. The worst part of this is that I don't want to die. I have many ambitions in life, but everything that I go through on the daily basis (and the fact that my parents think I'm putting on a show) makes me feel like that's the only way to go. I also think that I want to do it as a way to prove to my parents that none of what happens is an act.
If you know what all of this can be, please, please let me know. Don't bother answering to tell me to go to a doctor, because its what I am planning to do anyways.
Thanks.
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
It is clear you have severe anxiety, severe depression (suicidal thoughts+uncontrollable anger+seasonal depression). And complete loss of interests, and if it will not be solved you will lose yourself.
I hope you be good and If I want to talk to you if you don't mind.
If you're interested in reading my story, here it is:
I am a man. 23 years old now.
It started the same.I have been depressed since long time but the deadly symptoms like panic attacks and severe anger and being completely lost was because of my mother. When I was like 17 I told her that i am getting sad and depressed for no reason and i need a therapist but she didn't listen and told me that i am good and therapists will take much money.I started to bring things from the past ...life continued on the school side well since i was passing classes. When i finished high school at 18 and in the first year of university, i started having panic attacks with severe depression and loneliness all time lost concentration lost all my interests. I left uni and worked for 8 months because I didn't understand what I am having and I didn't find anyone to talk to. For a man, it is hard to talk about it. I don't have any problem but there is no one who I knew who is a good listener.
Anyway, I went back to another university thinking that the old uni was the cause of all of this.So changing the place will be good for me.But panic attacks increased.Imbalance increased.Social anxiety got to higher levels. ( And by the way depression has its own symptoms and anxiety has its own though). And Suicidal thoughts started to take a large space of each single day.
I left this university too and went home and did nothing since that time. I tried to work. 1st work I lasted 1 day hardly (severe anxiety).2nd work I lasted 2 hours (more severe anxiety, imagine.).
So Now I don't know where I am going in this life. I am completely lost, although i didn't get into drugs or alcoholism. Things getting worse and worse and I feel I am losing my mind. I heard voices in my head 3 times. I get completely lost in public not like before. My anger is maximum. I attempted to kill my uncle. I broke a big vase next to my grandmother's feet. I broke my room. I took pills. I drank cough syrups twice. And I didn't die. And death seems not that easy believe me. And those who explain it as if : "If you're saying death is not easy , so you have a will to live" , they are bullsh*its people. I hate people, societies, religions, devils, myself, smiles, love, sex and everything. I am dead.
I will keep refreshing the page to see what you're up to.
Peace.
I would recomend you read a book Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins, is long but super interesting you might find the answers of why you act that way, he goes into a lot of details about humans psychology, if you do get it, actually read it
You might have seasonal affective disorder as well as anxiety. However, the only way to know is to see a doctor, of course.
It sounds a lot like seasonal affective disorder.
I have bipolar disorder, and my moods swing with the seasons, almost like clockwork. Mania is a lot more than hyper - when I had mania, I was sleeping only an hour or two a night for months, and that was all the sleep I needed. There is a thing called hypomania, but then you would be sleeping maybe 4 hours a night, for weeks to months. If you don't have this dramatic shift in sleep needs, it isn't mania.
It turns out antideprssants are placebo treatment in most cases - google antidepressants placebo kirsch for an intro to that topic. This research is now gaining widespread acceptance - even AARP and consumer reports are featuring this information now.
However, light boxes work very well for SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and the Sunray is a good brand. I also painted my rooms in my house yellow and peach, have a skylight in my bedroom. etc. A dawn simulator is another good option. for more on lightboxes and dawn simulators, see psycheducation.org. The Harvard doctor who has that website is pro medications and is a bipolar specialist, but he has a long list of things you can do for depression besides take antidepressants, and he also featured the info that antidepressants may not even be helping, but they have risks of making you manic or very agitated.
It is really really hard to tell the difference between normal, wild teenage hormones and teen depression. also, your parents may be familiar with all the problems with mental health medications, and do not want you to take these pills - these problems have been WIDELY reported in the newspapers and newsmagazines. Have you asked to see a therapist?
also, you can try australia nat'l university's moodgym program for compturized cognitive behavioral therapy.
really, the light box, extra exercise in winter, getting enough sleep in winter, and spending more time with friends when you are down are some of the best ways to deal with SAD. Afriend of mine says her daughter gets it bad too, and pulls out her spring decorations and puts them up in the winter and that helps her. I like to put a lot of yellow things around, as does my brother.
all the best to you.
PS if you were sexually abused or severely emotionally abused, this is certainly part of the problem. Therapy can help this quite a bit.
For safely controlling panic attacks, you should look into hypnotherapy.
http://www.christianhypnosis.org/?hop=lonzy2
I CANT BE SURE BUT HAS ANYONE SUGESTED THAT IT COULD BE BI_POLAR2 THAT YOU HAVE. YOU SEEMS FROM WHAT YOU SAY THAT YOU HAVE THE SYMPTOMS OF THIS CONDITION IF YOU HAVE IT IS EASLY TREATABLE HAVE A CHAT TO THE DOCTOR IT CANT DO NO HARM.