I told my boyfriend I had been abused as a child and he didn't care, he jus!
Question: I told my boyfriend I had been abused as a child and he didn't care, he just said I need to move on and?
Answers:
Hi,
For you that was the worst response he could have given. Everybody deals with trauma in a different way, some can move on and think positive, others can't, they need understanding and need to talk to trained people who can help them deal with it in their own mind. It was an easy response for your boyfriend to give as he hasn't been through what you have. Explain to him how you feel about his response, if he loves you then he should understand that you need his understanding in this matter.
My advise though is to find a specialist in the problem that you have to be able bring all your trauma out of you. It really is the best thing, then you really will be able to move on and eventually rid yourself of depression.
Good luck, hope this helps.
UK Personal Trainer and Life Coach
Honestly, if your boyfriend doesn't care about something that has seriously hurt you, and you shared that information with him because you trusted him, what DOES he care about? He should be compassionate and supportive! If he doesn't care about your pain and suffering and won't be there for you, and is unreliable when you need him most, about the most important, serious problems in your life, than what you really need to move on from is him.
Life experience with the same kind of problem
From my own experience (being abused and depressed, with an eating disorder) people who haven't been there simply don't understand. Some are sympathetic, but most aren't. My first sexual experience was being raped. My parents shunned me and called me every name in the book. In hindsight, I can see that it was because they were hurting and didn't know how to react because they hadn't "protected" me. They chose to be cruel and tell me to "get over it" because THEY didn't know how to help me. No one should ever tell you to move on. It's not that easy. I don't want to sound harsh, but if you've explained what you went through to your bf, and he's still negating your problem, he isn't worth it. You deserve to be loved and supported. It took me years to find that, but it can happen. God Bless you, sweetie, I've been there...for too long.
he's insensitive and never experienced anything traumatic in life. you do need to move on-from him. childhood abuse is serious and will affect you for a life time if you dont work thru it. stop being so negative is such a ridiculous thing to say; it's invalidating what you have been thru and making you feel ashamed and weak instead of acknowledging what you have been thru, so you can empower yourself and move on.
It's probably because he can't relate to it. He probably doesn't know what it feels like. Being abused is very serious, especially as a child. Telling your boyrfriend that was important, and I don't see what was so 'negative' about it. If you can, sit down and talk to him about it. Your boyfriend may feel uncomfortable with the subject, but it is still very important and he needs to understand.
it could be becauase he doesn't care..but realistically...if he didn't he wouldn't be your boyfriend.
He probably has no clue on how to help you..so like what has allready been mentioned, he is just avoiding it. Or, doing the best he can by, telling you to get over it.
Your boyfriend isn't your therapist. Your gp, nurse, psychologist, counsellor, etc can be.
you do need to move on. that may involve therapy and thats fine. but you cant let that control you for the rest of your life. however if all he said is what you stated, then you need to move on from him too. he may not have known exactly how to react to your revelation to him, but nonchalance was not the proper way.
he's your boyfriend so you work closely together.why he should be defensive about that ?
It is a big problem, not easy and talking about it not easy too. So he told you move on right ?
A foreigner might say more than "move on"..he got to wake up and open his eyes..
peace to you.
That is a common response ,and it is not without some merit. the best and fastest way to move beyond past problems is eftmastersworldwide.com .
You should do all you can to heal, and get beyond the pain of your past, so you can move on to a happy life.
x
well he should. having an experience like that in the past, is VERY TRAMATIC. pleaseeee dump him. because i think if he really cared about you, then he would want to help you in every way, which it seems he doesnt. you deserve better girl.
carpe diem.
one he has no idea of what you went and are going though it took my wife 30 years to come to grips with a similar situation professional help for you is what i would recommend it my not take you as long as it took my wife that way
Because he can't associate that with his childhood. Have you seen a therapist? You can move on from what you went through, allow yourself to live happily. Demand that out of yourself.
It may be an uncomfortable for him to talk about so he's avoiding the conversation.
It's a defense mechanism
Because he is an idiot and a jerk. Dump him.
Because he's a douche.