I have the perfect life, why am i so sad? I constantly think of suicide?!

Question: I have the perfect life, why am i so sad? I constantly think of suicide?

I'm 24, I live with the most amazing woman I have ever met. I have a fantastic job, I go to school. I drive a nice car...well...not really nice. Volvo S40 lol. Yet when i get home at night (my girlfriend works nights) I'm alone. I use illegal drugs and alcohol. Mostly benzodiazapines (Large amounts of Xanax and Ativan, usually no less then 8mg mixed with alcohol) sometimes i'll take morphine sulfate with them. I know the dangers...It's actually my major in school. I just am so unhappy all the time. I have been to counseling and I'm still unhappy. Suicide seems to be in the back of my mind all the time......Just the slightest thing will cause me to just break down (alone of course, my girlfriend knows NOTHING about what i do at night) and start taking pills and drinking. Why am i like this? I just want to live a normal life. I have never been molested or anything, Grew up in upper middle class, parents still together. The whole 9. But I am a miserable person. I am never angry...just sad.

Answers:

I agree with Kermit (the monkey) you need to STOP taking the drugs. You need to admit yourself to a hospital before your addiction gets worse. Not just that, but THE SIDE EFFECTS ARE DEADLY from coma, seizures, paralysis and SUDDEN DEATH not even from an overdose but just because the body rejected the new chemicals and lost the fight. Prescription drugs are the most dangerous and will only lead you to 1) death from OD or driving 2) hurting or even killing someone else DUI etc, 3) lieing, cheating and stealing for drugs 4) jail which is worse than dieing, don't you think? You will once you are in there. Well, you know that you have help - you can talk to your girlfriend and get it out in the open, give her a chance, she may even be able to understand! She may surprise you AND it could even make your relationship stronger. You can tell a family member or friend, or just us online friends, because we all have a hidden person we sheild from the outer world. It is a scary dangerous universe and it can make even the "glass is to the brim full" feel a glimmer of doubt. But your constant sadness for no obvious reason shows your are beyond dehydrated - you are severely depressed. The drinking and drugs are just a replacement for the cutting. ALL of them are extremely dangerous so STOP. Yeah, it just to be simplified into that, you are the only person in control of yourself. You can 1st reach out to others but in the long run- It is up to you to help yourself. You will have more regrets later if you don't stop the "meds" and GET HELP NOW
Think of your mugshot you might have if you choose against our advice.

Dude, you're on drugs. Go get therapy. Tell your girlfriend, and be honest. You need to think positive and think about cleaning up your life.

You should use sertraline, it is the best about it you can get information from here http://cadmedans25.notlong.com/AAFQvuH

Your the type of person who you throw them in a river and will drown.
You can't be like that! Be strong! Be confident! Be happy!
You can't go around life wondering if your good looking or if you have a good life or you need this or that!
That's bull ****!
Live life everyday!
Don't think about tommorow or what happened yesterday, life is going around you right now!
You feel like dying????
Just remmember lifes about choices... you choose to do drugs and drink and I think that's what's causing you to think of suicide.
Go to rehab. Best thing you can do right now.

Smart 16 year old boy who's been through alot

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I have the perfect life, why am i so sad? I constantly think of suicide?!

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