i think its too late.i waste my life.?!
Question: I think its too late.i waste my life.?
i am 31.the first time i fell in love was about 17 years ago.that girl rejected me at the time,and i think i have to try harder,also she was some kind family relation which i could track her when i could not call her.i made some friendship with other girls,in order to forgetting her,but every time i looked in any other girl,i saw her.and she was not there.this sadness were growing more and more due to my failure every time.she told me she will never marry,she told me she does not have ANY kind of relationship with ANY guy.i was weak,i was 22 when i tried to escape to drugs.in those time as i said i still made friendship,but no one take her place.when she SUDDENLY married to one guy,obviously it was ONLY suddenly to ME,my life turned to hell. the alibi get complete,and i became a BIG looser,an addict.she was playing me for god damn 10 years....my family helped me to quit when i was 25 and i really made it.i finally found an other girl which i should confess i only made friendship just because she was look like my first love.we where happy but sometimes,i thought about my horrible mind,i told her about my previous love but i only told her she HAD GREEN EYE JUST LIKE YOU.the university finished and i had to do my public military duty ,the days of military made me addicted again and i find out this second girl,could not be the love i expected.but i continued and tried to quit after that shitty military days.drugs made me a man without sex desire,i like to have sex,but i could not.this made me a dead man.
those days have gone,and i -some how- cured my self.i am not totally clean,i use the medicine which use to treat addiction,to ENJOY.the abuse of this medicine,made it a drug for me.i know i deserve this.i want to be clean,I 'm scared.i think if i try to quit,i can not work and i will lose my job.i did not have sex for 1 year.the last time i tried,i did not get an erection.i also do not think to commit a suicide because i am not immortal.what would you do if you were me?i know that i could not show what is my real problem
Answers:
I think you need the New Testament in the Bible. The enemy there is the same as the enemy in you - accusation, mercilessness, and an inability to let go of the past. The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. There's a reason a lot of good people still try to be like Jesus.
Tom Waits' song "Come on up to the House" is addressed to a person in your situation. >>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUE-ic_Q0…
Well the moon is broken
And the sky is cracked
Come on up to the house
The only things that you can see
Is all that you lack
Come on up to the house
All your cryin don't do no good
Come on up to the house
Come down off the cross
We can use the wood
Come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
The world is not my home
I'm just passing through
Come on up to the house
There's no light in the tunnel
No irons in the fire
Come on up to the house
And your singin lead soprano
In a junkman's choir
You gotta come on up to the house
Does life seem nasty, brutish and short
Come on up to the house
The seas are stormy
And you can't find no port
Come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
The world is not my home
I'm just passing through
Come on up to the house
There's nothin in the world
that you can do
you gotta come on up to the house
and you been whipped by the forces
that are inside you
come on up to the house
well you're high on top
of your mountain of woe
come on up to the house
well you know you should surrender
but you can't let go
you gotta come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
The world is not my home
I'm just passing through
Come on up to the house