Does my aunt sound like a nice person to you or no?!


Question: Does my aunt sound like a nice person to you or no?
Basically my aunt said how she would save me from my physically abusive brother but only under the condition that I put my cats on the street. I found this very cruel especially since she has a lot of cats herself and hasn't give them up. Also she told me to call her the next day, after I give up my cats and to come to her place, and how she would find me an apartment and all that. I never called her the day after, and I'm not willing to put my cats on the street, but when I called her a few days later to see if she could still find me a place, she didn't respond whatsoever and I called on both phones several times. I remember her telling me that nobody gets second chances or something, so I think this is her way of saying, you didn't do what I wanted so I'm not going to help you...So do you think I should avoid contact with her completely, or is she still an ok person? It's kind of hard for me to tell because I'm in the eye of the storm, lots of messed up things are happening around me, so I can't judge clearly. Thanks for any input.

Answers:

Trusting someone after you've been abused will be difficult. I understand how you feel about your cats. In most communities there are shelters for animals that are privately run and they find homes for your animals. For now, focus on finding either people who will adopt your cats, or find a private shelter where volunteers will find a home for them. You don't need the stress of thinking about your beloved pets wandering the streets with no home or food. They have probably been your only friends. Animals can really be there for you when people aren't.

I don't know how your brother is abusing you or what the situation is. Sometimes telling an abusive person that you're done being abused and the next time it occurs, charges will be filed with the police can stop them. I used this ploy to stop physical abuse from my father and to stop an abusive boyfriend. You have to really mean it if you state it. You cannot make idol ultimatums with abusive people and not carry them out, because they may test your commitment to this decision.

I don't know why your aunt is not returning your calls. There may be a reason, wait and see. If she is avoiding your calls, then no, she doesn't sound like a person who will help you. You may be able to leave your cats where they are now, and remove yourself from the abuse while you are sorting through your problems. Wherever you get housing, it will be difficult to be a pet owner.

If the abuse is severe, find a shelter or another family member who is willing to help you. These kinds of problems seem so overwhelming when you are immersed in them, but by taking a few steps to improve your life, you will see that there are ways to get through this. Call a hotline in your community that helps abused women. Talking over your situation will bring it into perspective and they can refer you to agencies that can help you.

Lots of us have survived abuse. I know that eye of the storm feeling. Just know that you can solve these very hard problems. You have to do whatever you can to get safe. Be sure you find some therapy for the abuse, because this is one of those difficult situations to work through on your own.

Lived through and survived abuse



She offered you a lifeline - in your position you should have accepted it; you didn't, so you will have to sort your life out without her help. She sounds like a nice person, but not like somebody you can take for granted.



Which means more to you? Your cats? or not living with your abusive brother? If you pick the cats you're stupid. So many people would leap at the chance to get out. Just get rid of the cats and go to find her and apologise.



but everyone gets second chances. She sounds like a moron so no she isn't nice. Don't go to your aunt, go to the police



She sounds like a cruel person to animals. That means she's not very kind to you as well.



Your aunt doesn't sound like a nice person to me. =(



she has honor,she is a person of her word.you should strive to be like her



yes but she drives a hard bargen



I think she genuinely wants to help you but can't work out how to include the cats. i think you should tell her that you really do need her support and help but the cats are the one thing in your life at the moment that causes you no problems and you would really feel it a great betrayal and a great loss to get rid of them. Say you appreciate her offer and wish you could accept it but you just cannot sacrifice your cats who have been good and faithful and never hurt you. She may or may not relent but at least she might try to understand your reason.




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