Is it too late to 'start life?!


Question: Is it too late to 'start life?
Im 26, female and have never had a social life really i still live with parents, have never had a bf, dont drive, have never been drunk and have never had a group of friends to go out with and I still dont lol. I had anxiety/panic attacks for years but im ok now guess i just outgrew it. I dont have good social skills i mean i think people like me a little cause i make them laugh with my dop ways and stupid naive comments but they are not interested in me cause im very reserved and quiet they just see me as weird. The thing is I want to have friends and be normal but then when i get chance to have friends I get bored with all the small talk and make excuses to drift off and do my own thing I just like my own company and am a very private person.

At the same time though i feel like ive missed out on loads and regret not being outgoing. Im independant as in i do everything on my own but im dependant in terms of still living with parents I dont want to move out id probably just become a recluse and not leave my house lol. Its valentines day tomorrow and people at uni (im doing a nursing course) usually ask if ive had any valantines card and ive not a clue what to say as ive nev er even had a bf i just reply shamefully with a 'no' and feel pathetic. What else can i say to them? People who know me know i never seem to have bf's sometimes i feel like making up that i have one so that i sound normal but i often wonder what they think of me?
If you knew someone like me what would you think of them ??

Part of me wants to be normal but then i love my own company when im with a group of people and they are joking/laughing i cant even keep up with the conversations/jokes thats why im known as dopy. People can tell me stuff and I'l forget. I know i sound like someone with aspergers but I can actually understand people and predict their feelings im just not articulate and have very bland social skills. Tutors on my course say that i need to improve my interpersonal skills because im too withdrawn. I feel like ive missed out on the 'rebellion' years everyone has seen me as the 'nice shy quiet girl' as a result I want to show them im not but i have responisbility now with being a nurse.

Answers:

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

I really do understand what you are saying about being bored with just sitting around talking. And, that's why I think that that is not really the best way for you to get involved with people. I, too, need to be doing something. If I end up just sitting around talking to people, or sitting around while everyone listens to music, I usually want to sneak off and read a good book.

So, here's what you need to do. Get involved in ACTIVITIES, and try to choose things that put you in contact with at least a few people near your age. It might be scuba diving classes, or a spelunking group, a rapelling team, or an oil painting class. It might even be a church singles group. Or, you could try "speed dating". If you do something like scuba diving, you can even go on group trips, scuba diving in Mexico, or something like that.

It doesn't matter what they are. Just make sure you have something at least once a week, where you go join a group of people doing something interesting.

There's nothing wrong



You need a reason to be communicative and sociable. That means sharing interests. So look for groups that have your interests and join, or you could start a group in your area,



Sounds like you need to know God, your spiritual Father, then pray about your life. He can help you live a better life. As God is love, life is primarily about love and relationships in order to have a rich and full life. Also, you need to know God's Son, Jesus Christ, in your life as your Lord and Savior as Jesus died on the cross as payment for our sins. Having Him with you will give you God's blessing and forgiveness, as you live God's way. We need to know and follow God in this life so we can go to heaven after we die, and so we can get God's help now. Not following God leads to hell, eternal suffering. Instead, there is an important prayer to pray to become a born again Christian. This prayer should be said with faith in God and a sincere heart:
"Dear God, I know that I am a sinful person and I don't want to be like this anymore. I know that Jesus Christ died on the cross as payment for our sins, and I want to accept Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior forever so I can receive God's forgiveness, guidance, and go to heaven after I die. Thank you, dear God, for your mercy and guidance; in Jesus' name. Amen."
After saying this prayer, you should check out a Christian church like Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran.
Also, get into their Bible study group so you can learn more about God, Jesus, and God's will for your life. The Bible is God's instruction book about how to live a God-honoring life so you can go to heaven after you die. The church can also get you baptized and prayed for. You can pray for yourself daily too. God guide your life.



You sound EXACTLY like me! I can tell you you are articulate from the way you've answered this question. And I think you should stay as you are and not bother what others think of you, I know that's really hard though but it's your life afterall so take care of yourself and it doesn't matter that you haven't had a boyfriend yet, you will one day and lots of people your age and older haven't even if it seems like it's just you. You could make up you have one if it makes u feel better but then they might find out u were pretending in the end and it's not their problem anyway. Those who think that sort of thing matters aren't worth it, I can't stand people being nosy about my life too.

You should be proud of yourself for not doing all that stuff like drinking and driving cos it's not cool to be drunk etc, it just causes problem for yourself as many have found. I have the same problems with wanting to be more outgoing as I know others see me as boring as I'm shy. But then we should just concentrate on the people who like us for being that way as there are some decent people out there. Honestly, just ignore people who put you down, find things u like about yourself and be proud. At the end of the day, it's your life. Join some clubs of things you're interested in and u might hopefully find some friends like yourself, or a church, even if ur religious, there can be people who are more understanding there. To help with ur confidence, remember everyone has insecurities even if they can hide them well. It's not just u. Write your negative thoughts/ feelings in a diary to help your anxiety and get stress out. Also make sure your room/environment is uncluttered and organised as this links to ur mind and helps that be too. All the best. :) x




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