How can I be diagnosed for this?!

I lie, I manipulate, I'm emotionally abusive, people say I'm extremely charming, I feel that I don't commit crimes or do bad things because I'm protecting myself and my image, not because I would feel bad if I did something to someone. I have full out conversations with myself almost constantly when I'm alone, speaking as all the people in the conversation. My speech is often riddled with large vocabulary words and good grammar. I feel as if I have the ability to get anyone to like me, but then I typically crush their entire world. I'm anxious and paranoid often. I have no remorse when lying and I do it subconsciously almost 100% of the time. I will do almost anything to get what I want. I analyze EVERYTHING. I tend to "read" people and I often learn their habits and flaws quickly which makes them predictable and I can tell when they lie quite easily. What is wrong with me/how do I find out without going to a therapist? I do not have nearly enough money to pay for a therapist, they are extremely expensive. I need answers to be precise and detailed. I have a prescription to adderal XR and IR.

Remember I cannot afford a therapist or psychiatrist. I'm assuming a regular doctor could give a loose diagnosis, but I'm trying to get a basic idea of what I might have. Thank you.