Severe depression and suicidal feelings - Not getting proper help.?!

I am at my breaking point, cancer + heartbreak = my limit.

A run down on my current situation (kind of long sorry.)

My body recovered from cancer just recently but it left too deep of a scar emotionally. On top of all my other problems it just fills up the list of reasons why living at this point is no longer logical. I figured I had someone who understood and who supported me but she left. She was my whole world and now shes gone forever it seems. She treated me like cancer was not a good enough excuse to be depressed. I was recently getting my life together and not even two weeks before I was going to move in with her(and propose marriage), she broke it off. Four years of love, gone, then came complete No Contact.

I tried to email her, the crazy mother came after me, said I was harassing her daughter. Her sister called me lazy and irresponsible, and that her sister needs a man who can support her financially and that is there for her. I wanted to spend Christmas with my parents/sister I don't see very often and so I got stick for this. Apparently choosing my family over hers was bad. They don't understand how hard it is, so they just judge me.

I can hardly believe my ex sided with her abusive family who are stuck in some retro house wife fantasy world. The sister told me my ex would talk to me when she was "ready" to, but when is that? When she is with another man? I can't wait forever to just be hurt again.

I loved her deeply and I thought she loved me too. She doesn't show that she is sad over it, maybe no longer cares for my well being. I told her not to worry about me anymore because I won't be around for long. She asked why I wouldn't be around in a very concerned tone, I have had no contact with her since that day, I'm in the dark now. I feel her tears on the phone were faked, because not even a day later she appeared fine. Her facebook was happiness central before I deleted her, is this all an act? She said to me she would remain single to work on herself yet.. She was on a dating website barely 5 days after the break up, why so soon? Her profile was absolute non-sense. Claimed our relationship was three years(we dated for over four years), said she was a smoker(just starting maybe because of me??).. what else did I not know?

I went to a doctor for help and so far its not helping. I have ate very little in the three weeks since the break up, I am wasting away. I sleep maybe 14 hours in a week, sleep is just a hassle. I take no joy in my usual past times. Maybe I have to attempt suicide a few times before the doctors will even consider me a viable problem.

I am completely alone now, I have no support, no one to talk to, I have nothing. My entire world has left me and the solitude is killing me. I tried going to a local bar, this made things worse. I am not a bad guy, I don't hurt people intentionally. I don't get why she left, her reasons on the phone were complete garbage, probably to get me to hang up faster. I am an honest caring man and I thought that was what women wanted.. so why leave a guy like me?

I could blow my brains out right here and now and no one would even notice. I doubt my ex or anyone else would even shed a tear, I hardly care now. I can't cope with all the problems anymore, theres just no point. I lived for her and she threw me out.

I am so confused, I just don't know what to think of all this.