please help me. im very sad :(?!

i dont like my life. my 'family' argue's every day. they talk about each other behind their backs and in front of my face. they also talk crap about me to myself. i cant stand any of them. i feel so irritated when im around them.i dont know what to do. they think only of themselves. they dont like the fact that im in college and dont like it if i want to find a job (which i did apply for one without telling them because they always try bringing me down about it saying i shouldnt be successful because really they arent)my dad hangs out with other women instead of my mom. he also does many other things for other people but never helps us. like my mom needs medication for her migraines but she cant afford them and whever she would like some money to pay for medicine/hospital bills he refuses to help and yells at her calling her bad names like b(tch. she will never leave him tho so dont tell me to try convining her to leave him. i know how she is. she will stay with abusing, she has for more than 20 years and no dont tell me to take them to counesling because i know they will never change, they are all ignorant. even tho im in school im still having a hard time because i need the tuition paid and my parents dont want to help because they dont believe a college education is a good thing. my mom works a minimum wage job and keeps all of her money to herself. my dad has worked with the army for 5 years and his paycheck stubs came in the mail and i saw how much he makes which was a lotta money. i myself am unable to join the armed forces and am automtailly disqualified because of a hearing problem and i feel like i wouldnt be elgivble for many jobs and careers that i would want. i first went to collegein 2007 but dropped all of my classes and received an F for one of them. the reasons were because the situation here was still the same. its still the same bullshit no matter how much i stay here. i just want to move out on my own. i want to be away from them. that has been one of my dreams for a long time. but everyone tells me it would be impossible unless i have a good job and finish college. i dont even know what i want to major in. my parents someitmes tell me they think its fine when i go to school only if i do a high paying job later on with taht degree. all they want is money and for things to go their way. im pretty sure i have some sort of emotional trauama but i never got treated for it because i ahve no money. i m even unable to receive any finiancial aid(tried before) they said i cant get because my dad made too much income and im under 24. if im 24 and up then i can receive financial aid. until then i cant. which is makign me very upset when i see someo ther people who i dont like getting when they dont deserve it and use it for other purpses. i used to see social workers in school in the junior high. all of this stuff i told you about is true though. all i want is to be on my own away from them and to feel peace in my mind. i also want to finish school but i fele like giving up on everything this is the 4th time im trying to stay in college. i have also been physically abused a lot now not as much its mostly just through emotional. i think that has caused many = problems for me. proof: i looked on some papers my counsolrs had gave me and one of the things read "has emotional disorder". besdies that, all the bad things that hppen around me dont stop. also sorry for mispelling some words im just writing down in full details so you wont be confused. my dad always blamess everything on me and my mom. one time he got very drunk and was lost in the street and callued us to pick him up which we did and out of my genoristy he told me its all my moms fault when she doesnt do anything to bother him. all she wants is to be treated nicely. please tell me to not sit downa nd talk to them because ive tried and it doesnt work. they wont ever change i know it. when i look at other girls and see how they dress and how they present themselves i feel like i want to be them. lately i dont feel like dressing up and doing my hair etc because of my crappy life and it makes me sad/embarsed to go out in public. i dont even have anyone i consider friends. i met this guy tho at college and hes a really awesome person and is nice and we texted a lot then he asked if i wanted to hang out for new year then i said ill thinking about it and let you know and i never answered him agian. i was just so shy and feeling sad about my life. i hated myself for doign that though.i live in a 1 bedroom apartment and my family is 5 people. theres barely any room for myself. if i want to have peace and quiet im unableto. i even want toworkout at home becaus i cant afford a gym membershpi but i cant because my family always bothers me especiallymy oldest sister. i have no one else ot talk to about this. i would appreciate it if you could help me out