Anyone been in an abusive relationship that I can relate to? (sexually, physical!
Question: Anyone been in an abusive relationship that I can relate to? (sexually, physically, or mentally)?
It was the hardest thing ever. I had trouble getting sleep at night, couldnt eat, got sick.
And now that I look back, I don't know why. He abused me badly. He'd call me names, the B word is something i'm used of being called. He drained the little bit of confidence from me that I had to begin with.
He physically hurt me many times in the past. He was quite a bit bigger than me, and I got shoved around a number of times, and my shoulders being pushed hard into the bed. I still remember the look on his face, and im not sure if its something that will ever leave my mind.
Standing in his room in tears having my stuff and clothes whiped out the door onto the floor and him telling me "get the F out" is also something that haunts me.
I don't know if this is considered sexual abuse, but if I wasn't feeling well and din't want to have sex, he would get mad to the point of "don't touch me" and start swearing. And then he'd either go look at porn in the bathroom on his cellphone, or watch it when i fell asleep.
I get hurt very easily and I feel he played on this.
I can not believe some of the stuff that went on, and I never told anyone but my best friend and mom because I always thought nobody would believe me.
He was the type of guy that would be willing to help a friend with anything no problem, but wouldnt do the same for his own girlfriend.
I gave him so much love, and tried to create so many good memories for us. All the special little things I did meant nothing.
I dated him 2 years and 6 months. The abuse started a year and a few months into the relationship.
It hurt me for weeks to think that he's being really nice to a certain girl he's trying ever so hard to be with, and besically left me for. This was not the first time. He ran off with her a couple months ago but came back to me a couple weeks later and cut all contact with her.
Now, hes trying to be with her again, and shes a drop out, and druggie.
He said he'd change and did for a while, but went back to the same abusive him. I wish he could have just stayed the same as when we first got back together.
Anyways, thats my story. Does anyone else have something similar that happened to them in the past?
I am 20 he is 19.
On the plus side, i'm starting to see another guy and he is really, really nice : )..I am taking things slow.
Forgot to add in, that the night before the day we broke up, I was bawling my eyes out throwing up when i was at his house and found out he was talking to this girl again through text. He told me "its none of my business what they were talking about". And then he said he'd think about us not being together if I had sex with him. So I did crying all the while, and then he said this still doesnt change anything. And wouldnt let me hold around him right after when we went to sleep and said "dont touch me"
Answers:
I'm sorry that is horrible.
I'm 20 and I only had one relationship in my life. It was when I was 16. At the time I was very insecure with myself just got out of the hospital for anorexia a year before. And was trying to get back to being normal and happy. I had made some videos on youtube. They were just jokes, me dancing around in blonde hannah montana wig to her songs and making music videos, and prank calls like that. People at my school saw my videos they made fun of me for them. My boyfriend refused to ever be seen in public with me cause he knew everyone thought I was a joke and didn't want his reputation to get messed up by being with me. Because of my low self esteem I accepted that. After school he would give me rides home. But he would make me duck my head down until we got out of the school parking lot so no one would see us together. Then he would take me to a parking garage across the street from my school and make me get in the back seat with him and take my clothes off for him. I did a lot of sexual things I was uncomfortable with I went along with all of this simply because I wanted to have a guy like me so bad and I had terrible self esteem bc I'd just gotten over an eating disorder had no friends and everyone at school was always calling me ugly, stupid, loser, no one likes you you look like a stick with a f*cked up face...etc. Anyways one day I log on to my youtube account and had a new comment on a video i made it said "the c*nt is a complete f*cking retard" I clicked the guys account who sent it. Amazingly ever video the guy had favorited matched my boyfriends interests and taste in music perfectly. I knew it was him. I searched my email for his username only to realize he'd sent me over 50+ comments throughout the whole year we were going out making fun of me saying things such as "haha I bet you regret making this videos now that the whole school makes fun of you, you ******* idiot" and "wow I bet your parents are ashamed their daughter is a f*cking retard" and "haha it's so funny how everyone hates you." After I saw the comments I confronted him he told me I should have expected it because I made stupid youtube videos and not like he's the only one saying bad things about me lots of people do. I told him the things he said were disrespectful. He said I had it wrong and I was the one who disrespected him by making embarassing videos which messed up his reputation. That didn't even really make sense because he had already graduated by the time people were making fun of me and he was still worried about what high schoolers thought of him. But I ended up apologizing to him for my videos and taking them down. I continued to let him take advantage of me and call me stupid for another 6 months or so. I hated the way he treated me and always put me down and only wanted to see me when he was horny, but at the same time I realized I'm not pretty, smart or well liked and doubted I could ever find someone else in my life. Finally before I went off to college I broke up with him. I knew that either way single my whole life or my whole life with him I wouldn't be happy. So I decided it was better to be single than to let him use me. It's been 2 years since I last saw him. I haven't dated anyone else, I still don't feel like I'll ever be good enough. But I just try not to think about it.
Ok first off don't you ever let some jerk put his hands on you again and defiantly don't let him call you names thay just make me wanna kick his............anyways I know someone who had that problem she got smacked pushed and called names I also know a friend who god assaulted sexually I offered them all what I could support and talked to them been a good friend that all I could do they dint let me beat em up soooo what else could I do I just can't stand it when a so called man dose those things I hate it me I am a guy who is respectful and hate anyone putting there hands on anyone especially a man putting his hands on a women I been like that since I was a baby and I'm 21 now I can say to you and it may sound strange and you don't know me but I offer the same to you why? I can't help it its how I am and if you want then contact me at neworleanswrestlerboy@yahoo.com and its may be strange to say this but I will be one of you best friends if you don't understandable
Life I seen a lot of people hurt and get hut so I choose to not be like that
Hi Gabby, I'm really glad to hear you're out of that abusive relationship - that had to be so hard for you to do. And, seeing the new guy - who sounds really nice - is good, too!
The guy you left sounds like a "bully", who took advantage of your weaknesses and used them against you. A friend - let alone a boyfriend - would never do that to you.
A possible reason it was so hard for you to leave that might be "fear of the unknown" - in other words, "what happens after I leave him?" No matter how much an abuser apologizes and repents, the saying "once an abuser - always an abuser" is true in the greater majority of guys who abuse.
Nobody deserves to be abused, physically, verbally or emotionally. When two people get together in a relationship, they should look after one another - and treat each other with ultimate dignity and respect. Never accept anything less!
Best of luck to you =)