I'm so awkward and alone and I feel depressed?!


Question: I'm so awkward and alone and I feel depressed?
and it depresses me so much?
My problem is: I can't make friends. I can't talk to people. When I'm talking to people, thinking I'm doing fine, the other person always just shows me signs that they would rather be talking to somebody else. I'm not even joking it's not me just being self concious and thinking that when it's not true, people actually look around for somebody more interesting to talk to for a way out of my awkwardness, they just force a smile and look away and don't help in the awkward conversations I try to have. The nicest people do this, it's just their way of being nice about it with out completely ignoring me like most people do. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know how to have a personality because the one I have I absolutely hate. That has nothing to do with other people, I really hate my personality. How do I change it so I like myself more? I feel like my personality doesn't suit my appearance, if that makes sense.
Just a heads up for answers, I'm really nice so it's not just being mean to people, I have 100% hygiene, it has absolutely nothing to do with that. It's just when I talk to people I have no idea how to act because I don't really know who I am. I'm 14 almost 15. I'm begging you...just please don't tell me I'll grow out of it. Even the awkward band geeks don't even like me or want to talk to me. I understand that girls my age and boys too, have awkward problems in their own way, but I'm telling you I have no social skills whatsoever. I also find myself thinking how weird I am often too, how do I stop being so weird? Please help me this is a really terrible problem I'm going through because I have no friends. After school I come home everyday.
Another thing is, my problem is not "getting out there" and "meeting new people" I won't even begin ti explain how many things I've done after school and sports and how many people I've met, the point is I just have no clue how to interact with them. I never used to be this bad, I used to have pretty good social skills, not great but I was ok. I just don't remember how to use them at all. Thanks so much.

Answers:

I just had my 14 1/2 year old daughter read this...If I hadn't of known she was in her room with no access to the computer I would've thought she wrote it. Especially the part about feeling like as you speak to people they seem to be looking around for a way out..she totally just said that same thing to me a few weeks ago. Those people who are looking around for an exit are doing so because they too are thinking you don't want to be there talking to them. They are just as nervous.




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