Completely obsessed with someone. A little advice would be most appreciated. (Ve!


Question: Completely obsessed with someone. A little advice would be most appreciated. (Very long, no TL;DR)?
Alright chums, settle in. It's story time.

Back in 2008, I was 12/13 and depressed. I was lonely, had a bad home life (which was all of it. Home schooled.) and terribly violent to anyone who made me mad. I did nothing but sit in my room browsing the internet.

Enter X, who shall be called X because it's classic. She is 3 years older than me. She got her drivers license that year and started taking me places.
Before this, she was simply another person. My attitude towards her was "We're going to see X? Yay! Someone that I actually like!" I had that attitude towards several people.
Our interaction was different, though. She would talk to me about things and try to help me. I'd spend the night at her place, etc. etc.
Essentially, she was my first friend and the first person that would actually try to help me.
I try to help her however I can in return. I'm not sure how well I do...
I credit her with keeping me on the ground instead of 6-ft below it with a 36-grain .22 caliber slug in my head during that time.
She knows that she has helped me a lot. But, she has no idea to just what extent.

As time went by, she became my support in all areas.
Having a bad time and just want to murder someone? Anxiety over taking me? Think about X.
I'll be totally honest: I'd be a bastard if it wasn't for her. Lying, cheating, stealing? Whatever. I don't because X wouldn't like that.
Drugs, alcohol? X wouldn't like those, either.
Porno? X doesn't like that.
Even down to cursing. X doesn't like it, so I try my best not to.

Fast forward to now. She's 18 & in college, I'm 15.

She takes precedence over everything else. Things that I like that aren't X are: Anime, writing stories and mechanical things, especially firearms. Heck, I'm studying firearms and idolize John Browning. Something with X? Screw those.
Have money that could be put to use making more money? Spend it on X, preferably without her knowledge before hand.
I'm not interested in other people or things. Just anime, firearms, stories and X.

The only time that I feel content is when I'm with her.
Also, if I'm with her doing one of the things that we spend the vast majority of our time together doing (either riding in her car or in her room), there's a good chance that I'm holding onto her either by the hand or arm. I guess that it gives me a sense of closeness. I'm not shy around her, either. I've flat-out asked her if she minds the things I do. She insists that she doesn't. Judging by the facts that she sucks at hiding her true feelings and still regularly invites me on adventures, she probably doesn't. But, I still worry.
*Enter Command*
/lowselfesteem
/depression

If I'm not with her, I'm probably thinking about her.
I get jealous easily when it comes to her.
I get depressed easily when it comes to her.
I stay on Facebook literally from the time I wake to the time I sleep, hoping that she'll contact me.
Blah blah, I'm sure that everybody here has heard it before and that I typed most of this for nothing.
And in the process of typing this I realized that she contacted me while I was concentrating here. I now want to punch my screen.

So, there's my tale. It wasn't particularly well told or interesting but, that wasn't the point now, was it?

I'm not entirely sure what kind of answers I'm wanting, so I don't care.
Advice and suggestions, trolls and fools. All are welcome additions to the page that this question will occupy.

And in case anybody doesn't take this seriously, I can assure you that I consider this srs bsns.
I simply like to add things like the above "srs bsns" to lighten the mood a little.

One more thing: The people here are, I think, the best on the site. Seriously, you guys are great.

Thank you all, and have a fine day or night, depending on your time zone.

Answers:

I wasn't really sure whether to try and answer this question, but heres my attempt.

You need to talk to a professional, not in a bad way, i think theres nothing wrong with the relationship you have with X at the minute however i worry that if X suddenly isn't around so much for example she gets a guy at college and starts spending time with him more than you, then that might cause problems.

Ultimately it sounds like you want to be with her forever and have a family all that sort of stuff which is wonderful...if she feels the same way.

I worry that your relying to much on her for emotional support and if that suddenly goes then you'll be destroyed.
I think it's really good you have other interests though, if writing stories and anime are passions why not give them a go, try taking inspiration from the situation for your stories. Start finding out ways to get books publish ect follow your passion.

One other thing i would say is that if she's holding back now, the more intense you get the further away she'll want to be, so be careful.

Hope all goes well :)




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