Finding it hard to let go of self-hate, what could I do?!

For me, one of the beauties is that I don't think any of us deserve happiness, but we get a chance to feel it anyway. People who are selfish, that think that they are owed that by the universe take it for granted, but those of us who feel we don't really deserve it get a rare opportunity to appreciate it in a unique way. A rare few times in life I have seen soemone forgive somone who didn't deserve it. Most times, the person being forgived took it for granted, and lived life like normal, but once or twice I saw a recognition in the person that knew that they shouldn't have been forgiven, but was anyway, and that caused in them a sense of awesome (in the true sense of the word) sense of humility and gratitude. The point is that we often base our feelings of ourselves on a measureing stick defined by what we see in other people, but that is often distorted and flawed. Really, we are all fully of crummyness and mistakes. We don't show that side to other people so when you look at all the people around you all you see is the best side they have to offer (not a complete or true view). Deep down, everyone else is a lot more like you feel, they are just better at hiding it from the rest of the world than you are. People who seem self confident are usually the most insecure, and just act that way to overcompensate. The best commedians usually have messed up real lives, they just need an outlet. Really, how ever F-ed up you are, you deserve happiness as much as any of us do; hopefully you will just appreciate it more if you ever actually find it, instead of just those pretending they have.

no, don't hate yourself for it anymore! you can hate the old you but LOVE the new you! the new you is being nice now and so you have no reason to hate that. you could try apologizing to the people you use to be mean to if you hate yourself for being mean in the past. be happy that you're good now! you changed for the better so don't hate yourself for changing, love yourself for it =)

Do more hate-worthy things and it will balance out.