What is wrong with me?!

I'm so sorry you're going through such difficult feelings.

It sounds like depression. Can you ask your Mom to get you some good therapy? Or ask your guidance counsellor at school what he/she can suggest.

Writing is a big help in validating feelings and is a release. Do you believe in a Higher Power? Ask that H.P. for help and guidance.

Can you meditate? just sit quietly and visualize a beautiful scene - and try to feel with all your senses: listen to the wind sighing in the trees, feel the sun warming and gently touching your face, touch the sand at your feet, smell the ocean - a deep breath, appreciate what you can see. Concentrate on that scene and allow yourself to enjoy - the beauty that is on earth.

All the best.

Long experience.

To think about dying isn't too rare.the other things are troublesome.
Low self esteem ,maybe depression.See your doctor,you may need medicine.
Also join some type of group in a hospital or church.You can meet others like you.
bye

Same here.... can anyone pls tell me how can i post my question?

Behaviorally, you are doing a lot of things right to counteract the depression, they just aren't working. There are a handful of people I've met that don't respond to behavioral interventions, or even psychotherapy, for that matter. In those cases, the person has little to lose by getting evaluated by a psychiatrist for medication. If the problem has to do with neuroreceptors and seratonin, the meds have a good chance to level out the depression and help you recover. Once medicated (these meds, unfortunately, take weeks to be therapeutic), you ought to consider psychotherapy, and see if there is something about the way you think about your world that makes you more prone to depression. If there is, you can learn to correct irrational, and negative thinking, and stabilize your mood. Eventually, you would be able to come off the meds.

Keep active, get sunlight in your eyes for a couple of hours each day, and get the help.