What should I do about this lady when my mom's in the way?!


Question: What should I do about this lady when my mom's in the way?
I'm really into this one woman and she seemed to be into me(note: I'm female). But then my mom came along and it seemed obvious my mom was crushing on her as well (and supposedly she was straight). Today, my mom told me this lady had been giving her eyes from across the room. The lady watches me, the lady flirts with me, the lady expresses interest in me and she hints at hanging out with me. It really upset me to hear this from my mom.

She acted as though she wanted me to tell her that lady is interested in her. Now, my mom is...well, she's a bit desperate. She was with a married man(who had kids) for a bit behind everyone's back and didn't have any regret or guilt. She is concurrently into a guy who is probably about 23 years old (she never admitted but she will not stop talking about him). And now, she likes this woman I'm into. I don't know if she was seeing what she wanted to see. She had been replaying little details about the 23 yr old guy to see if I'd say he was interested. Should I bring something up when I'm with the woman next to see if she was giving eyes to my mom?

I'm 20, she's about 26, and my mom is 52. One reason I'm worried is that my mom looks a lot younger and that married man was in his later 30s...

My mom and I go to the same gym. I usually go without her. The lady is my trainer, that 23 year old guy is her trainer. This is how we know those same people. I was talking about how one of the cute male trainers was smiling at me from afar and wondering if he was trying to get me to come over to purchase sessions and she randomly said "(my trainer) was doing that to me too, giving me eyes/looks" and I was like "What?! That's disgusting" and she was smiling like she knew it was good news for her...I just really don't like her sometimes, really don't.

Answers:

sounds to me like your mom is a little immature and confused or just plain doesn't have respect for herself. she must be jealous of you. sad to say.
my suggestion to you is ..go outside the "box" (meaning the gym) and find another person to flirt with that your mom doesn't have access to.
your mom is feeling a need for attention and love and looking in the wrong places.
and for you..stop treating each other as such equals..she is mom first then friend..but no matter what ,always remember she is the only one you have and some day you may not.
there are lots of girls out there for you.
next time with that woman let her do the talking before asking questions.
was i too harsh? sorry.

self



This lady does not want your mom....she wants you.

The strange thing about this whole story is the fact that you posted it in mental health.



If your mom is into younger dudes have her contact me and I'll take her off your hands so the lady can be all yours ;)



Instead of talking to the girl at the gym first, you should honor your closest relationship with your mom, and ask her for a good time for you two to have a heart to heart talk, really.
Then let her know you don't know how to say this , other than being direct and dive into your observations and thoughts.
Your mom will share what she wants to. She may be very uncomfortable with the subject, but allow her her own feelings.
I am convinced that younger people have a different way of looking at sex, sometimes, having no boundaries and /or good sense or understand that not everyone thinks the way they do about sex.
Which is true.
I would say, that since you don't really like her (and from what you have said, neither do I), then just back off , don't talk much to her,(ask for a new trainer or go to a different gym, this is sexual harassment in a way) and once you and your mom talk, let your mom deal with it in her own way. I doubt seriously your mom is interested . She may be embarrassed, though.

x



I think you should talk to your mom about all this openly as well. You could be missreading your mom, who may just be looking at her with the love she feels for her own daughter, YOU< and, thinking this young women is like you .
I would almost bet that she is not 'crushing' on her, but you can ask and allow her her feelings.
I have seen younger people missread people over 40 and their emotions a lot. One guy thought his mom was sexually presenting herself to him everytime she bent over to pick something up, that is really a sad thing to think about ones mother.
I can almost guarantee that isn't happening.
Most people don't think like a porn site, and that isn't even close to reality, or the way it is suppose to be.
Don't underestimate your mom. Talk to her.

z




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